Survivor Episode 2 Loaded With Surprises
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya…………
Initially, I was disappointed with this past Thursday’s Survivor episode. I watched it with one of my buddies who is a big fan and we both found it quite entertaining. That was mainly because of the humorous comments (at least to us) that we made throughout the show.
I found myself disappointed when they disqualified the contestant Ben from the immunity challenge for being too rough and taking what amounted to a cheap shot against a competitor. He was ejected from the contest and his short-handed team lost the challenge and had to face tribal council to vote a teammate out.
I thought this was B.S. because they don’t appear to issue rules to the contestants beforehand. They seem to place them in occasionally aggressive settings and insinuate that “anything goes”. After all, it’s Survivor. Outlast everyone else.
There is an insinuation that this is the ultimate reality series where a group of people are dropped in a desolate place with minimal supplies and left to fend themselves. If you need to (and can) kill a wild pig in the woods…..go for it! (As Mike did in season 2; Australian Outback). If you steal the shoes from every member of another tribe on Opening Day and leave them barefoot and suffering……..go for it! (As Rupert did on Survivor: Pearl Islands). And if you knock a few people around, and scratch and claw and fight your way to victory in a rugby-type challenge, then that’s what you do……..
But first my buddy watching the show with me, and later another good friend with more brain matter than I, both disagreed with me and collectively helped me to change my outlook. Their first point was that I take things a little too seriously—which I am prone to do. They pointed out that this is a game show in the end. While they may market it as a test of people’s toughness, endurance and resourcefulness, it is still a game and a TV show that is meant for entertainment in the end.
My argument was that some people, like myself, are ultra-competitive and will resort to most anything when faced with survival (or just plain victory). In real-life, I firmly believe that there are no rules to warfare. Absolutely anything goes. I believe the same holds true in interrogation of an enemy. I don’t believe the police have carte blanche when interrogating suspects accused of crime in the US…..no matter what the suspect’s place of origin is. But if they are suspected/accused/charged with terroism acts or engaging against the US for an established enemy of ours, then there are no rules to interrogation. Anything goes.
But I do acknowledge that not everyone agrees with my viewpoint. It could very well be in the small minority. And I attempted to apply this viewpoint of mine to a TV game show called Survivor. My mistake.
No wonder they didn’t invite me to play when I applied for this very season. My application and video probably revealed my “too aggressive” approach. {Although my much more passive and peace-minded friend didn’t hear anything back either}. I can contain it in job interviews and the workplace; perhaps I need to squash it when trying to get on reality shows too !
My more noble friends also reminded me that I don’t know all of the rules they are actually told beforehand (with the editing process, etc) and that everyone in the challenge was warned once before Ben’s expulsion. Which is totally true on both counts.
So I have backed down on my ultra-competitive, anything-goes-to-survive outlook, and do realize that if another competitor dies in a challenge or during the night, his corpse is NOT to be harvested for its meat and protein. Like I figured I would do if I found myself on the program and that actually happened.
I have also subsequently reviewed the rules of the show on Wikipedia and learned that they do address extra aggression in challenges. They state that:
So they do imply that even when we insert you into challenges that demand takedowns or wrestling, etc. you are to keep it to limited combat. While that wording still leaves the door open to interpretation, the parameters are established when host Jeff Probst issues a warning or forbids certain contact. So there you have it.
Ben deserved to be ousted from the challenge. He did leave his team short-handed, and they lost. And if anyone on the team feels that Ben let the team down, they had a right to feel that way.
Thanks to my more level-headed friends for setting me straight and also from keeping a future contestant from being butchered for his bone marrow when I’m eventually invited to compete on the show.
So what else happened on this episode?
Well, the puppet master Russell found an immunity idol without a single clue. Which is something I have to tip my hat to and give him kudos for. Later in the show, another contestant was provided with the first clue that suggested the idol was hidden in a tree somewhere nearby. Her stated response was that “there’s a lot of trees around here and I’m not gonna waste my time looking for a needle in a haystack”. Or something close to that. Which is what seperates winners from losers. I expect Russell to go farther than that girl. And he should since he’s carrying an immunity idol. We’ll see.
In the end, Betsy the policewoman was eliminated. I was not unhappy with this development just because she is a cop. The police and I have never really been bosom buddies. I do think there were other options the tribe could (should?) have gone with. But even if she was bullied by Russell and voted off unfairly (or prematurely), …..welcome to how the public gets treated by your own profession, darlin’. Feel a little mistreated? A little bit ignored and unappreciated? Like you got the shaft? Maybe you’ll remember how it feels to be bullied and bring those feelings to your job in the future. I hope you do and spread the word to your colleagues.
My favorite moment on this week’s show though, was when Probst asked Ben at tribal council if he felt sorry that he was ejected or had any regrets. And he told the smarmy gamesmaster, “No. No regrets at all. Nobody told me we were going to play by your sissy rules.”
It looked like Probst just got bitch-slapped. Good stuff.
Thanks, Ben.
Some recommendations from me to you
Dude, I’m tellin ya…………
When I was at the WhiteSox game the other night, I was really appreciating the fact that this was the last game I would be going to this year. The boys and I were really enjoying the sights, sounds, and smells of the ballpark as true fans do. The product on the field sucked…..but the aesthetic qualities were in full force. It put me to thinking about the whole Cubs-Sox rivalry and the whole debate about Wrigley Field and US Cellular Field (which I and a few friends still call Comiskey Park because it just seems right).
Now I’m not here to knock Wrigley Field or the Cubs in this one. I just want to extoll the virtues of US Cellular because both sides in the city squabble refuse to acknowledge the positives of the other. I have a few good things to say about the North Side stadium as well.
While I’m at it, I figured I would just give out a handful of recommendations on some cool places to go and some great food and a few of the other things I feel qualified to speak about………
US Cellular Field can offer these realistic and non-biased benefits over Wrigley Field: WAY better selection of food and WAY, WAY better food overall. Anyone who argues this is just a moron and so biased toward the Cubs that their opinion on anything else is immediately nonsense. I have heard about 99% of Cubs fans admit to this truth. You can get a heaping bowl of corn-on-the-cob shaved straight off the stalk and swimming in butter at US Cellular. Last night the stadium offered 2-fer-1 hotdogs up until game-time. In 39 years, I have never gotten a .10 cent discount at Wrigley Field. I had a vodka and lemonade with my two hotdogs. It’s literally a full-menu restaurant.
The bathrooms are spacious, clean, and basically everywhere. No 50 year-old horse troughs with a line halfway down Waveland Avenue. There’s ample parking and tail-gaiting allowed. It’s just a nice place and a peaceful, comfortable place to watch a ballgame with your girlfriend or family.
But I will give Wrigley Field its kudos too. There is NO better place to catch a daytime baseball game in America than Wrigley Field. The buzz and excitement outside the ballpark is kind of electric. But knowing it’s a Wednesday at 2pm in the afternoon and you’re at the ballpark and sipping a cold beer (which you absolutely CAN’T seem to get at the fabled Murphy’s Bleachers across the street—-not even for $5 per can of Miller Lite!)…..there’s a great feeling to it. And Wrigley does have some good nachos with the jalopena peppers on ’em. I’ll grant them that too.
FOOD:
While we’re at it here, I have to give a strong recommendation to my hands-down favorite wings bar. There is a joint out in Hanover Park, IL that you have to try if you bop into town or live around the area. It is called Time Out West (www.timeoutweststsportspub.com). These guys have the greatest sauce that I’ve ever come across. I’m a big fan of Buffalo Wild Wings’ spicy garlic sauce and Caribbean jerk sauce. And I can’t get enough of Hooters’ buffalo shrimp. But this sauce is unbelievable ! I’m tellin’ ya. It’s a somewhat hot orange sauce with a peppery, blue cheese flavor that just blows you away. Every Friday is .40 cent wing day and scoring 20 of these things for $8.00 is a steal.
Next we move on to some sweet pizza. I’ve been going to Ledo’s Pizza on Mannheim Road in Countryside, IL my entire life. One family owned it for years and years and now I believe it is owned by someone else. The pizza is the same recipe. I might agree with some of my friends in that it may have been slightly better 10-15 years ago under the old ownership. But it is still awesome pizza. Thin crust, kind of greasy, and at its best when its red-hot out of the oven and the cheese is pretty melted.
Got a taste for a burrito? The hands-down champ for me and everyone else I know has always been “Burritoville”; a.k.a Summit, IL.
We used to go there 25 years ago when I was in high school and the keg party had broken up. Eight or ten of us would go at 1AM and there would be a line out the door and going down the sidewalk. Summit authorities used to have to post a cop there to keep things orderly because most of the people were like us…..a little sauced and feeling a little rambunctious (wink, wink). The chief place to go is El Farol on Archer Avenue. There’s six or eight other joints serving up burritos on that same stretch. But El Farol is considered the king of the street. The place is dingy and even intimidating to a first-timer, but the burritos are huge and the meat is good. Not too greasy, but you may get a drop on your shirt. Try it anyways.
MUSIC SCENE:
If you are in downtown Chicago, try and check out Buddy Guy’s Legends blues club at 754 S. Wabash
He’s allegedly been moving from that location for about 6 years now. But at the moment, he’s still in the same place. I believe that he has secured a new spot just one block north and will be moving sometime in 2010. That’s relevant because Buddy plays a full month of shows at the club every January before he hits the road for most of the year. After January, he’s only able to make spot appearances at his own place. But that would mean this January’s shows are the LAST ones at the current location. Seemingly for real this time. Tickets usually go on sale around Thanksgiving for these shows. They have cool memorabilia all over the bar. Oh, and the food at this place is incredible too. The catfish, the jambolaya, okra, everything…….give it a shot.
If you like reggae, check out The Wild Hare on Clark Street. They always book some really sweet bands and the whole scene is hardcore. In October, they have Julian Marley playing there. They have a band that plays there regularly that I’ve seen (and really enjoyed) called Gizzae. I don’t know if it is still there or not, but right across the street used to be another reggae club called Exodus II. You can really have a great night of cool music and culture if you hit this little stretch on Clark.
That’s all I’ll cover for now. I’ll throw out a few more suggestions at a later time. It’s just that suddenly, I have a hankering for some wings and a burrito.
A Couple of Updates and Random Thoughts
Dude, I’m tellin ya…………..
I thought I’d go back and address a couple of points or predictions I made recently and see how they came out. Maybe offer up a couple of new random thoughts or observations as well.
In my first-ever blog on this site, I ranted about the special treatment that celebs get—-particularly in the courtroom {see: The celebrity bennies never end}. I specifically mentioned the case of Blackhawks star Patrick Kane and his charges of assaulting a NYC cabbie. He was facing felony charges at the time of my post. Here is a direct quote I made from the blog:
I told my roommate sitting next to me, “Every penny I own in this world that he comes out facing misdemeanors and gets a cake walk on that too.”
Here’s the update: All felony charges were dropped and he was finally brought up on a misdemeanor charge. When all was said and done, Mr. Kane was required to apologize to the victimized cabdriver. He pled guilty to a non-criminal charge of disorderly conduct and had to say he was sorry to the cab driver who suffered broken glasses and bruises from the assault. Actually, he didn’t even have to tell the cabbie he was sorry; he is required to write a note of apology. Un-freakin-believeable !!
Wait a minute……what am I saying? It’s so totally believable. This is how the sham…..the myth……the joke that is the United States justice system is. My prediction on this issue was right on the money. And I’m a major Blackhawks fan. I actually didn’t want him to get six months in prison and miss any of the upcoming season. But the bottom line is that if this was me, or a non-famous friend of mine, or even YOU, we’d be up shit creek right now. You can bet the ranch that we’d be facing the full felony charge of second degree robbery (that was dropped against Mr. Kane). We’d be spending somewhere in the range of five to ten thousand dollars in legal representation in an effort to stay out of jail. And if we somehow didn’t go to jail, we’d easily get a few years of probation, a hefty fine to go with the legal bills, and several dozen hours of community service.
This prediction was easy, though. It was just assault by a celebrity. We already know from numerous examples that they can get away with murder.
Then there was my prediction on the Chicago Bears going 0-2 to start the season with the dismal play of Jay Cutler having a big influence on that.
Here’s the update: The Bears actually pulled a victory out of their ass against the defending Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers in week 2 this past Sunday. So Mr. Cutler, who was already being excused by most of the Chicago media after his pathetic week 1 performance {see: The big, bad Chicago Bears look like teddy bears again}. Now he is completely off the hook for the moment because we won this last game. But I will say this—–the win certainly wasn’t due to any heroic performance by Jay Cutler. As the third quarter ended, the Bears had scored our usual 7 points and were trailing in the game. That’s 7 points in the first 45 minutes of play. At halftime, our biggest WR threat, Devin Hester, had 1 catch for a total of 2 yards. The Bears got lucky on this one and I still stand by my prediction of 8-8 at best. But……..
I was wrong in my prediction of an 0-2 start and at least for this particular “miss”, I’m actually sort of happy about it.
Next, I made a more general prediction after having attended a pretty sloppy Cubs-Sox game in early September out at Wrigley Field. Both teams looked uninspired and I came to the conclusion that the year was over for both teams. {see: Are you ready for some fooootballll ??}
Here’s the update: I believe that I am right again on this one. I went to the Sox game last night with a friend (free tix or I wouldn’t go) and the South Siders looked miserable in a 7-0 shellacking by the Minnesota Twins. Jermaine Dye was booed loudly until manager Ozzie Guillen did the merciful thing and pinch-hit for him in the 9th with DeWayne Wise. That’s right….DeWayne Wise and his .206 batting average. That’s when you know your time in a city is finished in baseball. When DeWayne Wise pinch hits for a guy who is hoping to have a $12 million option picked up for next year, you know you’re done.
So even though Cubs fans are still holding on to that last unrealistic thread of hope to challenge for the wild card over the next two weeks, the season is over for both Chicago clubs. I’m counting this one as accurate.
Finally, I wanted to follow-up on my rant about the new Cook County alcohol/cigarette tax that took effect on September 1 {see: Bottoms Up ! If you can still afford it}
This increase is in addition to the highest sales tax in the country that was already in effect. Let’s all scratch our heads and wonder why the people of the US are being bled dry to the point of poverty and bankruptcy. But here’s a little tidbit to show that not only are Cook County consumers being raped, but the Cook County business owners are paying a steep price as well.
Most of my friends smoke cigarettes. I do not. Many of my friends are carpenters and construction guys. I think there is a law in the union constitutions that requires them to smoke ciggs or something. I’m not sure. But all of them smoke. Fortunately for them, we live on one of the edges of Cook County right near the border of DuPage County. A quick 15 minute ride to Darien or Downers Grove and you are in DuPage County. So that is where every single cigarette smoker I know now goes to buy their cancer sticks. I don’t know of one person who is still buying them in Cook County. Merchants that sell cigarettes in Cook have to be feeling the pinch.
I thought I would do the same with my liquor purchases. Screw Cook County, Todd Stroger, and all the rest of them. I had some banking to do in Darien this past weekend. So I figured as long as I was out there, I would buy my alcohol for the weekend. I stopped at a Jewel on Cass Avenue in Darien (I also needed some bread and milk). Now Jewel is not exactly known as the cheapest grocery store in the world. But while there, I decided to compare the price of the liquor to (what was my) regular liquor store in Cook County.
The 1.75 of Jim Beam that I usually purchase——-the one that went from 19.99 up to 24.95 in Cook County—–was selling for $18.99 at Jewel !!!! Of course, I made my purchase there. I saved $6 on a single bottle of booze ! I bought a 12-pak of beer too while I was at it. My old liquor store will not see my face again for months…..perhaps years. If others are making the switch like I did, that poor store could be facing some really rough times in the near future. I’m sure the poor economy was already denting their business bad.
So a shout out to anyone who is still buying their cigarettes or liquor in Cook County—–STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!
Go to DuPage County or Kane County (near Aurora/Naperville), or Will County. Go anywhere but Cook. And my condolences to the poor business owners stuck in Cook County. Band together….get Todd Stroger and his group of misfits out of office.
Just be careful. He’s a minor celebrity in these parts. He might get away with fire-bombing your establishment or assaulting you in your parking lot. He’s already getting away with rape. After all, that’s what celebrities do. Ask Tila Tequila about her recent encounter with San Diego Chargers LB Shawne Merriman. She’ll tell ya. All charges were dropped. After all, he can’t miss a game now, could he?
Survivor season kicks off this past Thursday
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………………..
Before I get into the first episode of the latest season of Survivor that premiered this past Thursday (9/17), I wanted to share a little story.
My brother hates these reality shows. Like me, he enjoys mocking and ripping on the contestants, their petty squabbles, and the whole genre in general. I lived with my brother for a few years recently and he was subjected to my weekly viewing of Survivor. He used to crack me up ripping host Jeff Probst to shreds. He hated the show and swore that after we went our seperate ways, he would never consider watching this program again.
Now if you don’t know my brother, he goes for the jugular right off the bat. His humor is NOT for the feint-hearted. He wishes injuries on players while watching NFL games. He will rip George Clooney or Johnny Depp as “fags”. Their movies suck—–always. He will question a person’s parentage, intelligence, family tree, and prison record. He pulls absolutely no punches.
So now, even though we no longer live together, I can’t watch Survivor without thinking of my brother’s (often) drunken, mocking venom of the show and Jeff Probst. He always made fun of how Probst would pause for such a long time before exclaiming, “OK…………………………………………I’ll go count the votes” when at tribal council. And when the show is over and they are going to the last commercial break, Probst always says, “Next time on……………………………………………………………………………Survivor!”
My brother had a field day with those. Somehow he would always toss in a question of Probst’s manhood while mocking those quotes. I loved it too.
So I watched this past Thursday’s episode and laughed hysterically by myself whenever one of those “Probst” moments came up. I just had to call my bro after the show ended and thank him for bringing tears to my eyes—-even in absentia.
As soon as I brought up Survivor and the episode I had just watched, he surprisingly implored me in a panicked voice…….”Don’t tell me what happened !!! I’ve DVR’d it and am about to watch it with dinner !!!!!”
By far, that made me laugh the hardest of the whole night. It just goes to show ya….Survivor is the King of Reality Shows. It hooks everybody who watches it. EVERYBODY !!!!
Now, on to the premier episode.
They dropped (I believe) 20 people off on an island this time. They had already been broken into tribes, so that saved the viewer about 10 minutes of that usually excruciating nonsense. All these nimrods had to do was vote for a leader. So they established their leaders and went on to camp. Let’s take a quick look at some of the people in the forefront:
Russell: I’d say we have to start with Russell. This is the one guy every season who thinks he’s a grand manipulator. He’s the puppet master who is smarter than everyone and can make people do what he wants. The only difference I see in this stroke and the others from past seasons is that he openly admits he’s a millionaire and doesn’t need the money. He is there to create waves. He is there to play people. I have no problem with this. As long as he admits that he is purposely trying to stir the pot, go ahead…..be a prick. Which he is, thus far.
Shambo: Here’s the yearly “butch” chick that looks to be the gay woman. I don’t say that in a bad way…….Survivor seems to like to position itself so that they can easily claim they represent the entire spectrum of American people; female gay, male gay, black woman, black man, Asian woman, Asian man, old man, older woman……….{in other words, Survivor covers its ass from accusations of bias and exclusion}. But this girl is seemingly tough enough to hang around…..just not beyond the first 8 to go.
Dave: a fitness instructor and the gay male; {note to Dave: if you are not a homosexual, my apologies to you and your family. You just seem gay-er than a $3 bill}.
Mike: This is the traditional “older” guy….but he’s a bit tougher like a neighborhood tavern owner or something. Allegedly, he’s a private chef. He has the gut to prove it. But in his on-screen comments, he seems like a tough and sensible old dog. I can see him make the jury unless he completely lets the team down in a physical challenge. Which being a pot-bellied lard ass, he probably will.
Russell: This is the other Russell. To differentiate him, for lack of a better identification measure, he’s the black guy with the dreads. But he looks pretty fit, pretty smart, pretty sociable, and pretty capable. I can see this guy make the jury as well. He looks to be a nice guy that is a team player. When both tribes arrived for the immunity challenge, he touted the teamwork of his tribe. The other team mocked it and thought they were physically superior. The other team lost. This guy looks sharp.
You also want to watch out for Jaison, Eric, Nick, and John. Yes, they are all male and young and seemingly fit. That is why I say you should watch out for them. One of these four men will make the Final 5. Mark my words. One of the youngest, fittest, good-looking, sociable men ALWAYS make the Final 5. Bank on it. One of these guys…..
In the end, the one woman who saw what (white, rich) Russell was doing——–plotting with every young lady and promising everybody his loyalty——-and she spoke up about it; she was eliminated. That was really too bad. Number one—-she was kind of cute. She looked like in any other circumstance, she might last a while. But she butted horns with a guy who is looking to go ALL-IN from the get-go. It reminds me of when I play cards on PokerStars.com
There is always several people who can either afford it…..or don’t care about a quick flash and exit. They go ALL-IN early and often and after eliminating a few people, they get caught by someone shrewder and more calculating. Then they too, are out.
That’s what I see happening to (white) Russell. He may last 2-4 weeks (of the show….perhaps 10-12 days on the island). then he will be gone with most of the smarmy, “I’m better than you”, jack-ass people that make the show. We all love it when a real smart-ass prick gets eliminated.
And apparently, my brother is loving every minute of it too.
The Big, Bad Chicago Bears Look Like Teddy Bears Again
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………
First off, I wish….I wish that I had posted something on here prior to Sunday night’s Bears game. Now it looks easy for me to rail against new Bears QB Jay Cutler and the team in general.
But ask any of my friends, family, acquaintances, and many people I didn’t even know, and I’ve been questioning this guy Cutler since his acquisition. I’ve been suffocated by the Chicago sports media’s love affair with this guy. The comparisons to Sid Luckman make me sick. They call him the best QB we have had in the huddle since Luckman. Jim McMahon won a Superbowl for us. Jay Cutler has a career .500 record as a starter and has never sniffed a playoff game. He had a good 35 career starts entering Sunday night and his career record is 17-18 or something like that.
I remember that after McMahon’s 3-4 good seasons leading the team to about 40-45 wins, we moved on to Mike Tomczak until he wore out his usefulness. BUT, I also remember that when subbing for the injured McMahon and then later owning the starting spot, Tomczak had a really admirable record as a starter overall (like 24-13). And if I remember correctly, his record was even better before he was the everyday starter at something like 16-4. Then as the glorious Bears teams of the ’80s fell apart, he was on the losing end of more games. But T-czak wasn’t horrible at all. He went on to some good years with the Steelers.
Later seasons saw us get great performances out of Jim Harbaugh, Erik Kramer, and Jim Miller. Harbaugh also went on to have several good seasons with the Indianapolis Colts before they drafted Peyton Manning. Even Rex Grossman, for all his yo-yo performances and terrible INTs had a great first-half to the Bears’ recent Superbowl season.
My dad still reminices about some of the great games and decent seasons that Bobby Douglass turned in for the Bears in the late ’60s and early ’70s.
Don’t get me wrong, either. I am a knowledgable fan of football, football history, and the Bears. I know QB has been a sore spot for most of the 50-60 years since Luckman despite the forementioned performers. I had season tickets for the stretch that saw the worst parade of Bears QBs in the team’s storied history. I suffered thru (in-person and at great expense) Cade McNown, Henry Burris, Moses Moreno, Kordell Stewart, Chad Hutchinson, et al.
But all the hype and glorification of Jay Cutler made me laugh. He’s done nothing. Oh, he did make the Pro Bowl last year with Denver (with Tom Brady injured all year so that a spot was open). So now Chicago sportscasters will refer to him as such for the rest of his career. But the truth is, he is overrated and has yet to prove he can even lead a team to the playoffs. The superstar hasn’t done that most important of achievements yet in his career.
Then the game took place on Sunday night. Add another loss to his career mark as a starter. Cutler looked pathetic throwing a career high 4 INTs and looking hapless out there. I bought the Monday newspaper and the media was still covering for this guy. After all, they can’t jump ship on him just yet and look like the fools they are (YES YOU Rick Telander, Rick Morrissey, Dan Jiggets, Mark Giangreco, Jim Rose, Bruce Wolf, David Haugh, etc).
But as a football fan, I know that is just one game. Cutler will have games with 3 TDs where he looks wonderful. If Kyle Orton could do it, then so can Cutler. If Rex Grossman could turn in a few great games, then so will Cutler. He will rebound.
But the absolute worst thing to come out of Sunday’s game was the injuries. Brian Urlacher is already out for the season with a sprained wrist that required surgery. I just read an article in Friday’s Chicago Sun Times that he was feeling as healthy as he’s felt in years. His back problem is under control and his child custody matters are behind him. He had his confidence back and was ready to have a great season at age 31.
I’ve never had a sprained wrist that required surgery and I’m pretty sure that Urlacher is tougher than me. But a sprained wrist? Out for the season? What ever happened to the days when Ronnie Lott demanded they cut his finger off in the locker room rather than leave the game and have surgery and miss several weeks? What happened to the days when guys like Ted Hendricks and Jack Youngblood and Hacksaw Reynolds used to wear big, thick casts on their wrists and hands and play thru it? They used the damn thing as a weapon like a pro wrestler. I remember when Steve DeBerg played most of a season with a big, cumbersome cast on his arm and he was a winning QB !
So Urlacher is out. Now we have an over-rated QB and a star LB that’s already out for the season. Factor in Nathan Vasher picking right up where he left off last year; getting beat big-time by simple deep patterns. And we can never underestimate the malaise and general lack of motivation that defines Lovie Smith’s coaching style.
This team is destined for 8-8 at best. Vegas oddsmakers see the same thing. A team that went 9-7 with Kyle Orton at the QB helm last year is not listed to fare as well this year with alleged future Hall of Famer Cutler taking the snaps. Everyone seems to see it except the Chicago media and the organization. Oh yes, and those fans that predict an 11-5 campaign every season regardless of personnel or schedule.
This week the Bears host the defending Superbowl champ Pittsburgh Steelers. Ben Roethlisberger and favorite WRs Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes should have a field day against Vasher and the already depleted Bears defense. The Bears will likely lose this game and be 0-2 before the end of September is even here. Another couple of INTs in this next game and Cutler will be hearing the boo birds after hardly eight quarters in a Bears uniform.
I’d like to be wrong. I hope I’m wrong. But these big, bad Chicago Bears with the Pro Bowl quarterback and the linebacker who’s feeling like the six million dollar man look like a couple of teddy bears to me. 8-8 sounds about right.
Here’s to another upcoming season of Survivor
Dude, I’m tellin ya…….
Yes, I admit it.
Sometimes I listen to Neil Diamond or Mariah Carey music. Sometimes I watch reruns of Friends. I almost——ALMOST—teared up watching Million Dollar Baby when the girl boxer got paralyzed. And when Edith Bunker died on All in the Family.
And I admit that I am a big-time, rabid fan of the reality show Survivor. It is the grand-daddy of all reality shows. I think this is like the 18th version of the game coming up later this month. Now I know that MTV’s Real World has had more seasons than that. But The Real World has sucked since they booted Puck off of there like 15 years ago. And MTV really, really sucks in general. So to me, Survivor is the king of reality shows.
I like it mostly for the pathetic people and their pathetic arguments and all of the ensuing drama. In one recent season, a guy got his panties all scrunched up over a cookie snack. He implored another contestant to give away the cookie meant for him, so she did just that. And it became a multi-day issue with heated arguments. I’ve seen buddies wrestle on the floor for the final beer. And I’ve seen children throw major tantrums when they couldn’t have a cookie right before dinner. But to see grown adults getting in each others faces and screaming about a cookie cracks my ass up. I don’t know about you.
That one reminded me of a season some years ago where a contestant seemingly smuggled some small candy bars or something on to the game. And their team stumbled on to a wrapper. If I recall, the major issue wasn’t that someone was in essence cheating everybody else who was participating…….the issue was they didn’t share the candy, daggum it! The culprit was getting more substinance than the rest of them! One person got accused and denies it to this day. But they became ostracized and ousted from the game. Their Survivor experience was over because they (or very likely someone else) ate a damn Mars bar. Or maybe it was a Million Dollar bar. I don’t remember. But it may have cost that person a million dollars. The candy bar lived up to its name!
Or how about the season where an overweight, loudmouth, unattractive woman thought that a male in her tribe was doing a little too much “spooning” at night when they were sleeping. Both people acknowledged that they were cuddling for warmth and companionship while enduring such trying conditions. But the woman got it into her head that the man was trying to “get some” and she threw a fit. The truth is, both of those people are lucky that anyone back home wants to snuggle up with either of them. We’re not talking about Brad and Angelina here. It was more like Uncle Phil on The Fresh Prince and Weezie on The Jeffersons.
My all-time favorite is when Boston Rob got all doe-eyed and whispered a plea to his ally Lex (one of my all-time favorite competitors) to please help him save his girlfriend Amber. He promised to take care of Lex and protect him if he made the save. Lex complied and very quickly found himself voted off. The smirk that Boston Rob walked around with was priceless. He was one of those younger smart-asses that can stab a friend in the back and shrug it off instantly. People from Boston are tough enough to do that. People from my hometown of Chicago can get away with that shit too. {I also always loved Boston Rob because he would occasionally refer to the smarmy host of Survivor, Jeff Probst, as “Pretty Boy Probst”}.
There’e the season where this ridiculous woman dressed in a Boy Scout uniform the whole time somehow, inexplicably made it to the finals. And instead of selecting the most hated man on the show to accompany her to the million-dollar vote…….she chose an extremely popular and well-liked contestant. She claimed she just didn’t want the jerky guy to win 1st or even 2nd place money. The well-liked contestant that she chose won the million dollars. But she got her wish. The jerk only took 3rd place and won slightly less than she did. But she handed away a guaranteed million dollars because no one would have voted for the jerk to win it all. Those (female) Boy Scouts…….crazy bastards.
My friend and I even sent in applications and video segments toward getting cast on the show. In my video, I told the producers that being a kingpin from Chicago, I would take over the entire island after just a few days like Hitler invading Czechoslovakia. I would elevate myself to warlord and make these people my serfs. And I promised that I wouldn’t take any crap from Probst either. We didn’t get the call.
If they want to send people to a dangerous location with predators lurking around every corner and a real question on whether you will safely make it out or not, send them to Comiskey Park (now US Cellular Field) on the South Side of Chicago for a night game of baseball. Or if they want the contestants to perform a hellacious, almost-impossible challenge……have them try and find parking in the Wrigleyville neighborhood for a Cubs-Cardinals game. You have to be a really conniving, devious, mean SOB to accomplish that most days.
So my sources tell me that another season is about to start soon. Another 14-16 weeks of injuries, inspirational performances, arguments among teammates, and big prize money at the end. Jeez, you’d almost think I’m talking about the NFL kicking off this week.
But this is tougher and rougher than the NFL. This is living in squalid conditions with people you hate and a pompous, well-coiffed TV host stirring the pot all the time.
This is Survivor! Coming soon to a television near you on CBS.
Bottoms Up ! If you can still afford it…..
Dude, I’m tellin ya…….
Before I even get into the pocket draining, depressing experience I just had, I want to give you a great referral on a website. A friend of mine just launched a website called www.ShareMyShot.com
He posts recipes and reviews on tasty shot concoctions and encourages others to post theirs as well. He tells you exactly how to make the shots (including for multiple people/multiple servings) and gives you an idea for the appropriate settings for the more fruity ones versus the harsher, “hair-on-your-chest” type of shots. Not all women like those forementioned varieties.
Check it out. It’s pretty cool. www.ShareMyShot.com
Now on to the eye-opening life experience I just had. I had heard this price hike was going to be taking effect. I just didn’t realize it would hit me like a Mike Tyson uppercut. You know…..back when Mike Tyson was tough. Not like now.
I just ran up to the liquor store for a fresh bottle of my favorite Kentucky whiskey. And I can tell you this right now—I’m not liking this huge Cook County tax increase that went into effect on September 1. Prior to today, the only alcohol purchase I made was a 12-pak of Rolling Rock to take with me to a recent Sunday BBQ. After all, we’re not animals over here. You can’t be rude and show up empty-handed. So I bought the twelve’r and honestly didn’t really even feel the tax punch that day. {Author note: And I’d like to point out that because it took until 9/8 for me to even go to the liquor store in September, it should help prove that I do not frequent the place every day as rumored. That is only a myth being spread by my enemies}.
But today, I needed to replenish the missing spot in my bar’s lineup. And up to this point, I had been paying $19.99 for a 1.75 of Jim Beam whiskey. Now it is $24.95 !! It basically went up $5.00 per bottle. Same with the Captain Morgan. And the Captain and I have been becoming better friends lately too. Women can’t get enough of the Captain, either. That’s all I hear them order at the bar now is Captain and Sprite. Captain and Coke. You absolutely HAVE to have a bottle of the shit behind your bar. Now a 1.75 of the Captain is $22.99 when it was just $19.99 about ten days ago. Doesn’t Todd Stroger and the gang realize that 10% of the state is out of work? Really, I don’t even know if he/they are the ones responsible. No idea. Probably are. But I have no idea. Most likely.
The bottom line though is that I like to partake in the occasional drink and I’m looking to hold someone responsible here. I had to step down to Evan Williams for Chrissakes !! I started with Knob Creek. Stepped down to Jack Daniels. Then I had to demote myself to Jimmy Beam. Now I’m supposed to drown my sorrows with Evan Williams? Who’s in charge of this fiasco?
To be 100% honest, I am all for the high taxing of our most decadent luxuries. I am a strong proponent of legalizing marijuana and taxing the hell out of it. The government will make money. Poor schmucks that shouldn’t be in jail might be let out and no further people will go in for this most-harmless of activities. Jail overcrowding will be relieved big-time. But I have no problem with outrageous taxation of the product—-purely so the US government can make money——-if they were to legalize it.
However, this particular rant is not about decriminilization or legalizing it. It is about how I actually support the heavy taxing of things like cigarettes, liquor, and legal marijuana. It’s easy for me to sit on my pedestal here and promote the heavy taxing of cigarettes. I’ve never been a regular smoker. So go ahead……tax it to death. Make it $10 per pack. Make millions of people quit or reap the profits off of that particular indulgence.
And when we get right down to it……just like I support the heavy taxing of ciggies and legal pot……they should heavily tax liquor sales too. If it makes people drink less, drive impaired less often, and spend less money on the product versus more productive purchases, then I’m not so sure it isn’t a good thing. I’m just pissed that it’s the first product they’ve attacked that I actually consume. OK……the only legal product. Woot.
If the economy was better and I was working right now, I probably wouldn’t have started this discussion. Jeez, I probably wouldn’t have even been up at the liquor store at 3pm on a Tuesday if I was working right now. Pretty sure I wouldn’t have been. But the fact is, I am off on a Tuesday. Would LOVE to be working Mr. Obama. But unfortunately, I’m not. So I found myself up at the liquor store and I’m not liking what I’m seeing. The news told me the other day that unemployment is up to a 26 year high. And you’re trying to tell me that alcohol prices are going thru the roof at this exact same time?
Sounds like a bad mixture. Go find a good one for yourself at www.ShareMyShot.com
Government agencies that actually deserve a hand (no kidding)
Dude, I’m tellin ya……….
I don’t mean these government places need help or assistance——-I’m talking about a pat on the back. A congratulations for doing a good job and a thanks. No……I’m not currently sleep deprived or two sheets to the wind over here. I have been relying on one government agency to personally stay afloat for the past 8 months. Without them, I would sleeping in the bed of my truck. And the other agency has provided me with flawless service for a good 8-9 years now. And when I say flawless……I mean mistake-free. Never a problem with them one time.
And as I do realize that I am one of the first people to point out what I think is a scam, or a double standard, or a poor job by one person or another…….I thought I should acknowledge these two government offices and give them their kudos. So……(have you guessed what agencies they are yet? )………
Here’s to the Illinois Dept. of Employment Security (IDES)—–AKA the “unemployment office”——–and to the Illinois Tollbooth Association (if that is actually what it is called) ! Thanks guys !
No BS. No practical joke here. No joshing, kidding, playing around, no jesting, no wisecracking or wise-assing, no nothing. I just have no complaints to register about these two government (read: typically crooked and mismanaged) systems. And this is from a guy who can find a complaint to offer after Publishers Clearing House comes to my door with a huge check. I’d be like, “Jesus Christ….do you jackasses realize it’s 9:45 in the morning?”
But unfortunately, I had to call for another unemployment period this morning to secure some assistance. I’ve applied to over 80 jobs in the last 60 days, but there’s no fish on the line yet. So if I’m to meet my next rent and eat a meal or two, I have to certify for another period. The automated phone system went as smooth as it always does. And in 48 hours, I’m about 99% confident that the benefits will land—via the direct deposit—–in my bank account. I have not had a problem yet in the 8 months that I have been off work. And registering on-line was as painless as it comes when registering for anything related to the government. I had a much harder time completing a job application for the US NAVY posted on careerbuilder.com for procurement positions (my area). They wanted my mother’s maiden name and my dad’s favorite lunchmeat. My Aunt Sally’s bra size. It was ridiculous.
But I registered on-line with IDES back in early January and it went thru with no hold-ups or absurd questions. No requests for outlandish documentation. I qualified (as I expected I should…there was no funny business about my company going under) and soon received the promised notifications in the mail. Now I have called in a good 16-17 times for benefits and have not had a single hiccup. I have to applaud the IDES office for doing a reliable, solid job. Without you, I would be in desperate straits. My only hope is that despite the good job you do, I have my fingers crossed that I will not need your services very much longer. But thanks, IDES. Back pat to you.
And then there’s the Illinois Tollbooth Association (or Commission). Whatever. As The Rock used to say on wrestling, “It doesn’t MATTER what your name is ! “
You have been doing a terrific job handling my account for almost a decade now. Don’t get me wrong now…….I despise paying tolls. I thought this was a temp system that was supposed to be phased out over 15 years ago? Or was it 20 years? I’m also aware of past corruption and skimming episodes. Despite the good job you are doing with my account (I-PASS), I kind of wish your office would be shut down and eliminated. Nothing personal…..strictly business.
But you are doing a pretty solid job on the whole I-PASS program. I have never had my credit card billed inappropriately in my time with you. Only when my account dips down to the minimal level do you replenish it. I know….because I’ve monitored you occasionally. I do have my eye on you, buddy. But you seem to be doing an honest tracking of my account and I am always billed the same amount. Never any crazy charges I had to fight. So a back pat to you, too.
Hell, I even rememeber when there was a switch in the transponder boxes that you issue. You informed by mail that I had put down a larger safety deposit on my “older” unit. So you were crediting my account the difference between the current deposit amount and the higher figure that I had put up. Now that’s an honest government agency!!
So kudos to you both IDES and the Tollbooth Authority. I appreciate the work you have done for me and wanted to express my gratitude. These are two areas of my life that I don’t have to put much concern into. Well, the lack of a job thing really concerns me. But at least I don’t have to worry too much about the services I request from you. I seem to be able to count on you.
I’m not sure if I have ever thought or ever typed those words before about something to do with the government! Perhaps I am just a little bit sleep deprived. I’m going to bed.
Are you ready for some fooootballllllll ?????????
Dude, I’m tellin ya…………
Being Chicago-based, I went to the Cubs-WhiteSox game on Thursday the 3rd out at Wrigley. Mind you, I am a true-blue diehard Sox fan…..so it was a glorious 77 degree afternoon when they beat the Cubs 5-0. The tickets were free thru a friend. The Sox threw rookie Carlos Torres against Ryan Dempster. The kid throws seven shutout innings and Dempster took a hard-luck loss without even allowing an earned run.
Which is what leads me to today’s subject matter. Even with the enjoyable Sox win, Thursday’s game was the epitome of why baseball in Chicago is as good as over and LET’S GET READY TO PLAY SOME FOOTBALL !! What a mess on both sides.
In the first inning, the Sox put a man on second with one out. Gordan Beckham hits a bouncer back to the pitcher. The idiot on second breaks for third and gets caught in a sorry-ass rundown where he is quickly tagged out. Then everyone in the stadium looked up to see Beckham is chugging for second! The lead runner was on his way back to second when he was tagged out. What the hell is Beckham doing? The rookie’s questionable baserunning reminded me strongly of Alexei Ramirez’ baserunning last year for the Sox when he was a rookie. Several times last season, Hawk Harrelson, myself, and everyone else was asking, “What the hell is he doing out there?”
So Beckham is easily tagged out to end the inning on a baserunning doubleplay. Cubs fans loved it. For about 10-12 minutes. By then, the Cubs were back in the field and a routine pickoff attempt bounced off the webbing of 1B Jake Fox’ glove. The runner advanced and eventually scored for the first unearned run that directly led to Dempster’s loss. But the afternoon of errors and laughable follies was just beginning.
The man who practically sealed his way out of town in a single afternoon was Alfonso Soriano. He struck out three times leaving five baserunners stranded. His final strikeout ended the game with a man on first. The feeble, half-hearted swings he took in that last AB showed he has completely given up. He looked like a pitcher up there at bat. As Sox announcer Harrelson likes to say, “He pulled the string on him”. That’s because Soriano truly did look like a little kitty cat waving its paw at a dangling string. Pathetic effort.
But his most major offense was once again his fielding. The error he made by the left field foul line when his feet slipped out from under him and he fell on his ass…….I’m still laughing out loud every time I think of it. Pure Keystone Kops stuff. They ran a picture of him in the Trib and the Sun Times yesterday falling down. I’ve clipped it out and look at it for a chuckle every couple of hours. But the ball went to the wall and that was the end of the game for the Cubs. The crowd was booing Soriano mercilessly. And they should be. That’s what you get for 136 million bucks these days. Milton Bradley isn’t much better for the 30 million he’s getting.
The wonder of it is that the Sox didn’t make all of the fielding blunders. They lead the major leagues in errors and when you run the bases like they did in the first inning, it’s not hard to see why their season has been a bust too.
Which is why both teams are as good as done for 2009. Bring on the Bears. Bring on the NFL. The Bears go to Green Bay to play the Pack in the season opener. The media is acting like Jay Cutler is Y.A. Tittle, Joe Montana, and John Elway combined. The new Bears QB has a career .500 mark as a starter and has never sniffed a playoff game. But he is our new Sid Luckman. Right.
But with both the Cubs and the Sox hovering around .500 and doing little else, baseball in this city is finished for the year. The next 18 weeks are all about the Bears. Yes, both the Bulls and the Blackhawks will start their seasons during those 18 weeks, but until the Bears are out of playoff contention……..it’s all about them. We’ll start watching the Bulls and the Hawks religiously around Thanksgiving or so.
So OK……perhaps I’m a little over-excited about these Bears. If the romance and passion only lasts until they are out of playoff contention, let’s give it 9 or 10 weeks. By then, we’ll be 4-6 or maybe 5-5 and the playoffs will be a “must-win-the-rest” situation. Yup, Thanksgiving sounds about right. Then it’s the Derrick Rose and Jonathon Toews show.
But hey………….10 weeks of excitement from these Bears. Not too shabby. That’s about what the Sox and the Cubs gave their fans this year. So the Bears will be falling right into line with their Southside and Northside neighbors. Thanks again, boys.