Last Thursday’s Survivor episode another good one
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya…………
For the second week in a row, Survivor was a pretty good episode. It’s getting harder and harder to tell what is going to happen at Tribal Council which makes the show a lot more interesting.
Near the start of the show, cutie pie Natalie killed a rat out in the woods and provided the camp with a little snack. Nice.
And after that, the gamesmanship began. Like the previous week’s episode, there was a ton of scheming and politicking going on that kept you guessing on what would happen with the vote. Once again, Laura’s head was on the chopping block. And Russell’s too. But after losing a reward challenge that had all of his enemies away from camp for the day, Russell found another immunity idol without any clues.
Is this guy good or what? Viewers (and my friends who watch the show) that still don’t like him cite his arrogance and the comments he makes. But this dude has a right to act a bit cocky after now finding two immunity idols without the aid of a clue. He’s down to the Top 10 and has shaped the game more than anyone else to this point. And he’s risen to the role of puppetmaster despite his original tribe turning in one of the worst group performances ever. None of them got to power up with a fine reward feast. Or enjoy a day away from camp relaxing on a boat, etc. Yet somehow, Russell has kept his energy and been behind the ouster of a good half-dozen players so far.
Ya know, his finding the idol without clues—and the rest of the people doubting it could happen—is why I think I could win the game. The people who get on the show are allegedly HUGE fans of the show. As mentioned previously, there is alot more recruitment of pretty people than the producers let on. But for the most part, these are real people who have watched Survivor from Day 1. The are rabid about the show. But it seems like season after season, only one intelligent player accurately applies lessons learned from the past.
Since the abolishment of Exile Island—which I always thought was stupid to begin with—–the immunity idols have always been hidden somewhere in/near the camps. I would start looking from the first day. Screw the clues. They usually suck anyway. But the players on this show consistently wait for everything to be spelled out for them. They are always reactive instead of proactive. And the one player each season who is more “street smart” and crafty usually emerges and thinks outside the box. And typically goes pretty far. The old man Bob who won a few seasons ago is a great example.
It’s not just with immunity idols, though. Perhaps this happens and of course they edit all of it out, but if I were there playing the game among other supposedly rabid fans, I’d constantly be talking about prior seasons. I would be sitting around the campfire at night laughing about when Boston Rob screwed over Lex. Or when Heidi and the other chick promised to strip for some peanut butter and chocolate and Probst yelled, “Someone get me some fuckin’ peanut butter !!”
Like I said, there may be a lot of discussion like that and they edit it all out. But in all the downtime around camp, I would be remembering all of the great strategies that have been used and try to find situations to apply them. And I would remember all of the mistakes people have made and look to avoid them. Right from the start like being too brash or vocal, taking a leadership role and doling out orders to people without being appointed, or slacking off around camp.
But every season, multiple players make the same mistakes over and over again. And get voted out.
Now if I were my favorite hottie on the show..Monica, I’d be pretty pissed. I can see her consider making new alliances next week. She was the only one with the brains to suggest that Russell could have found another idol already. And her tribemates pretty much dismissed it outright. One idiot even said, “we don’t even have to think about that right now….we just need to do it the way we’ve planned”. Or something close. It made no sense when he said it. What Monica had suggested was totally plausible in the realm of possibility—–and they waved her off. Literally. One or two of them waved her suggestion off and said there was no way.
They questioned Russell’s intelligence. They made the mistake of assumption that another idol couldn’t be in play already. Or that he could find it so fast again with no clues. Idiots.
And they paid the price. In the end, they all voted for Russell. They didn’t put any sort of strategy in place in the event he did play another idol. They could have just did what they had before: vote out another member of Russell’s original tribe and scare him into flushing out the idol for the second time in a row. But no. Too dumb. Except for Monica.
So with all of the votes for Russell not counting, pretty blonde Kelly was voted off. The look on her face was classic. Really, the looks on all their faces. But if I were Monica, I’d be pissed and considering finding some smarter people to play with. Even in her own tribe, she’s viewed as the weakest physically. And if they are going to dismiss her strategy suggestions as well, she would seem to be quite dispensable. Time to jump ships, Monica.
Next week should be good. Russell is down to his last card. With Shambo on his side, there is now a 5-5 split in alliance votes. But it would bode well for ol’ Russ to either win immunity in the challenge or pull an incredible trifecta and find a third hidden idol.
Otherwise he could be gone.
A tribute to a good man, a friend
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……..
Usually I would espouse on the last episode of Survivor that aired on Thursday night, but I wanted to celebrate someone special that deserves mentioning. On Friday afternoon, I got together with some of the boys from the fantasy baseball league that I play in. We had some beers and made several toasts. Many toasts.
See, it was the one year anniversary of the death of one of our buddies. His name was Frank Cahoj. I always called him Frankie. He was a great guy who played in the league with us for years. But he was a lot more than that, of course.
Actually, the exact one year anniversary was on Thursday. But we couldn’t get together then because the league commish, his wife, and his daughter were going to be together that day to visit Frank and support each other. They were closer to him than any of us. Much closer. So the fellas in the baseball league agreed instead to meet on Friday to remember him.
Frank was only 24. I met him thru our league commissioner. The commish is actually a really good friend of mine that I worked with for years at my last job. He’s a mentor of mine. His young daughter, fresh off graduation from Virginia Tech, met Frank and they started dating. It turns out that Frank loved baseball as much as we do and was passionate about the Cubs. So the commish and I smelled fresh meat for our baseball league. Frank was excited to join us and was in our little club until the day he passed away.
Along the way, over some seasons, he and the commish’s daughter became engaged. He proposed to her in front of the Magic Kingdom in Disneyland, which is a favorite destination for the family. Then all of the planning and excitement dominated their lives from then-on. I probably met up with the commish, Frank, and his fiance (and often others in our league) 15-20 times over the years to talk baseball and chug a few coldies. Talked to him on the phone about trades. Partied together at the draft every March.
He loved cool music and was a guitar player. He would often do open mic nights at bars and pubs. Like myself, he had a brother and a million friends. Which was not surprising for him because he had such a peaceful nature about him. {For me, it’s a mystery why I have a lot of friends. Not Frankie.} He doted on his girlfriend. They would often huddle together and share some laughs while the rest of us were engaged in some senseless baseball argument or another.
Frank had a dog named Gibson. He named him after his favorite line of guitars. The commish and family adopted Gibson after Frank died. And to hear them talk about the dog’s antics and personality, you can see the joy they get from the animal all over their faces. Perhaps you could say it was one of Frank’s last gifts to them. A daily remembrance of his energy and happy disposition.
I always felt a sort of deeper connection to Frank after one night in December 2007. I had to go to the hospital for an emergency appendectomy one Saturday night. They had just brought me to my room around 11:30 pm after surgery. I was still doped up and mostly out of it when they pulled the seperation sheet to divide the room. Another patient was taking the other bed. He had some strong abdominal pain just as I had. He received a bunch of tests and apparently his wife or girlfriend was with him.
Long story, short…..as I’m sure you’ve deduced already……it was Frank with his fiance. I mean, the chances of this were off the charts. I hadn’t been to a doctor or hospital in a good ten years. After three days of severe pain, I finally relented and allowed my brother to take me to Alexian Brothers hospital in Elk Grove Village, IL. Within a few hours, I am having surgery. And then admitted to one of the hundreds of rooms they have at this huge medical facility.
And within two hours, they bring Frank in to the same room with the same symptoms. There but for the grace of God (go I).
By morning when I had cleared my head a bit and gotten a few hours sleep, we determined (because the sheet had been seperating us) that it was the two of us friends. However that morning, Frank’s tests came back with signs of cancer. He was to be admitted indetermintly. The commish and his wife came in to support Frank and their daughter. And thru their own grief and concern for their future son-in-law and their little girl, they still took the time to actually visit with me too and lift me up a bit.
That’s the sort of people this family is and the type of guy Frank was to win their daughter over.
I was released that afternoon. Frank’s ordeal was just beginning. On the way out, I stopped by him while the rest of the family was out of the room. We shook hands and I tried to offer him some fighting encouragement. He squeezed my hand in a good handshake and shook his head “yes”. I always felt that little extra connection sfter that. And fight this kid did. He was a friggin’ warrior. For the next eleven months, he and the family did everything they could to kick that thing’s ass. This kid had some sort of strength. A hero’s strength.
But he died November 12, 2008. Less than one year after the night in the hospital. The commish—-who is a mountain of a man at about 6’4 and 285 lbs——-came in to work and told me the news. Then he had to excuse himself. I never saw a pained look like that on his face and I never want to see it again. I had to take a walk myself rather than sniffle in front of the office.
The fantasy baseball league is now called the Frank Cahoj Memorial League. We just finished our best season playing under that banner.
And here’s one more toast to Frankie for the week. It’s been a long year without you around, buddy. We missed you this season. It was a good one, too. You’d have loved the race we had until the final 4 or 5 days. But we’ll feel you at the draft in March. Believe me, we know you’re there—-laughing at the jackass picks some people make. And no one makes a pick until we’ve toasted our missing player.
RIP, Frankie.
Pretty please….stop trying to rip me off
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………
I feel a little rant coming on. My really close friends would laugh at that because they’ve probably already heard the tirade. I often use my friends as the sounding board to gather and organize my ideas. Then I try and express them decently in this forum. My roommate and I laugh whenever I ask him if he read the blog lately.
He always replies, “I don’t need to read the blog. I live it. I hear what’s pissing you off before anyone else does.”
I’m laughing as I type that often-used quote of his because that is one true statement. He gets to hear about what is scraping my nerves before anyone else gets it. Poor fella.
But this last week in particular, something is really starting to irritate me. It just seems like no matter where I go……what I do….someone is trying to rip me off. On a grand scale all the way down to a fast food order. Every time I have contact with another human being, whether thru their ignorance/stupidity (like they don’t know how to do their job)……or pure malicious intent……they’re all trying to rob me of something.
It reminds me of the line by Major Frank Burns to Major Houlihan in an episode of Mash:
“I’m not paranoid, Margaret. It’s just that everyone’s out to get me.”
Since last Tuesday, there have been a number of instances. Even more than usual. I’m used to being ripped off. My employer ripped off all of his employees by taking health benefit deductions from our paycheck for 5 months after the policy was cancelled due to his non-payment of the premium. I never go to the doctor unless I’m dying. And I never received a letter in the mail from the insurance carrier. So we were in the dark until the company folded and everything came to the forefront.
And when the company folded, this same man stole everyone’s last two weeks of pay. A week before Christmas last year. In the second half of 2008, I had my insurance benefits stolen out from under me and then my paycheck.
So I’m used to people trying to steal from me.
The recent wave started last week when my college alma mater tried to steal my academic achievements away from me. And their denial of my accomplishments caused a hot job prospect to drift away. So I was robbed of that employment opportunity. By way of over 25 phone calls and faxes thus far encompassing 8 departments, I have almost reclaimed my education. They now fully acknowledge that I not only attended their university but that I also completed everything I claim to. I have two bachelor degrees from this school and they agree with me. But my work doesn’t even end there. Because they failed to log it into their on-line verification system whenever they established it (not when I was there in 1992….years later), I now have to apply for graduation again. It will allegedly be pushed right thru and my degrees will be recognized in all their systems.
My question is how many other graduates achievements are not being recognized simply because they were accidentally omitted from the inital data input to the verification system? Like me, people may go years not knowing their college is not acknowledging them to job inquiries. You can have the diploma hanging on the wall of your den, but if you are not in the electronic database, you are being robbed of your education achievements. And you don’t even know it.
But things kept happening from there. I take on-line surveys in an effort to make make a little cash to—-you know…stay alive. And three times in the past week, I have completed surveys and then not been compensated as promised. My total loss is $13. I’m not saying that grand larceny has been done here. But I’m already on a short fuse with the whole college thing. I’ve communicated with the support people for the survey company and all they have to offer in response is the Great American Shrug. They say that the client assigns a code number to all people who begin/take the survey. And when the project is done, the client provides the survey company with all of the code numbers of the people who finished the survey and should be compensated. If your code number is not on the list, they don’t know what to tell you. The Great American Shrug.
So I’m out $13 in the last week from them. {And I’m quite certain that I did indeed complete the surveys as I have taken hundreds of them in the eleven months I have been off work. And at the end, they say “Thank you for completing the survey. You will receive credit into your account in the next 2-3 business days.” I received that message on all three in dispute.}
Yesterday, two different places tried to rob me. I was going to the Hawks game with a buddy later in the night. So I went to White Castle to get some lunch. I ordered (4) cheeseburgers and some fries. Not too difficult. I learned at about the age of 16 when I drove thru my first drive-thru that you do not leave the window until you personally confirm all of the food you ordered. I don’t care if it takes 3 minutes with a long line of cars behind me. I learned the hard way that this is what one has to do to overcome the incompetence of some people.
And there were only (2) cheeseburgers in the bag. Again, I’m not saying this was like stealing the Hope diamond. But it’s not freakin’ brain surgery either. Cheesburgers and fries? We can’t get that right? Really? Or is someone trying to rip me off?
So later my friend and I are at a sports bar that we always park at for the Hawks games. We save $15 by not parking in the United Center lot. And then we also have a few less expensive drinks before going to the game in a shuttle they provide. Yesterday we received the worst service we ever had there. Usually it’s great. Yesterday was the worst service I’ve had in 10 years. And in the end, this moron of a waiter who was MIA whenever we wanted him, presents me with two bills of different amounts. I’m like, “What the hell is this?” Together, we established which ONE SINGLE bill was applicable and I paid it.
I told my buddy I was going to watch that close because I’ll bet my left arm I get double charged on my credit card. I was on watch after everything else this past week. And when I phoned the automated system on that credit card this morning……guess what??…….they charged both bills to my card. Even though they only had one signed receipt. Charged me for both.
So I’m just hoping to make a humble, exhausted, plea to the planet:
Pretty please…. with sugar on top……please stop trying to rip me off in every transaction we do together. I don’t have hardly anything left. You’ve gotten me down to poverty level. Give a brother a break. Please.
Besides, the Bears are on tonite. And I’m sure they’ll rob me of three hours that I’ll never get back with their horseshit play. Let’s let that be the last robbery for a while. OK?
A Couple of Departures; One Good, One Bad
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………..
Yesterday was a day where I learned of a couple of farewells happening in the world. Actually, I did know that one was imminent. But the other one caught me a bit off guard. You could also say that one departure was a good one. The other one I am a little disappointed to hear about.
First, the good one. A little after nine o’clock last night, the great state of Virginia executed sniper John Allen Muhammed. Good riddance you piece of shit. This guy wreaked havoc for three weeks back in 2002 killing ten people with his young accomplice. He even shot at schoolchildren and left notes and other clues in an effort to toy with the investigators. But like so many monsters with a declared agenda that finally face the music, he had nothing to say on his way out. No bragging or pontificating. No apologies or remorse. He just limped into hell with a couple of deep breaths and an emotionless look on his mug.
His accomplice suggested that he wanted to extort money from the US government and open up a terrorist training camp for homeless children. His ex-wife thinks it was all part of a strategy to kill her and take custody of their three children. Whatever his true motive was, he took it with him to Hades.
This guy would normally be a good candidate for the November Asshole of the Month award. But I can tell you now that he won’t win. What he did for society this month—–exit our world taking with him all of the evil he had stored up inside—-this was the best thing he has done since he was a no-name, regular guy. His heinous deeds happened 7 years ago. In October 2002, he was a unanimous choice for Asshole of the Month. But not now. His execution is a good thing.
This month is only eleven days old, but not surprisingly there are at least two candidates with much higher, more timely credentials than John Allen Muhammed for Asshole of the Month. Kind of scary to think about, really. By Thanksgiving, there will probably be a whole slew of slugs leaving a trail of sludge behind them for me to choose from.
Kudos to Virginia for carrying out the sentence. It took seven years from the crimes being committed, to the trial, to the end of his appeals and the actual execution. But I’ll take it. It seems like we hear about 100 people per year getting the death penalty in the news. But it seems like only 5 or 6 get carried out every year. I’m sure it’s more, but it just seems like one of those sentences that sounds as serious as it gets. And then all we hear about are the criminals sitting on Death Row awaiting their day. On our tax dollars. They even get face time on TV shows like Lockup.
Just kill them already.
All-in-all though, this was a happy departure from planet Earth. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.
Then there was a departure that I guess has been in the news since last Friday. I didn’t hear about it until yesterday. Apparently Steven Tyler has left Aerosmith.
Even though these guys are in their late 50’s and haven’t put out an album of new material in about six years or more, I’m disappointed to hear it. I’ve always really liked Steven Tyler. Back in college, I had a couple of posters of him up on the wall. In one, it was a black-and-white shot of him thrusting his chest out and a real smartassy look on his face. He has a cigarette dangling out of his big lips and his t-shirt says, “Who the fuck is Mick Jagger?” {Then I think bandmate Joe Perry had a shirt that asked, “Who the fuck is Steven Tyler?” }.
In the other poster we had, it was a live shot of Tyler and guitarist Perry performing live and leaning real close together by the microphone. They are both decked out in their Toxic Twins t-shirts. Classic.
I first saw Aerosmith live in 1987 with a high school buddy and our girlfriends. Guns N Roses opened up and walked off the stage after about 45 minutes or so because Axl Rose was pissed off about something. Then Aerosmith came on and rocked out. They did “Big Ten Inch Record” which was sweet to hear live. His backflips and running around the stage jumping off the whole stack of amps left a vivid memory. I’ve seen them three or four times since.
Guess that’s over with.
The band says they’re going to replace him with another singer. To me, this is one of those bands where you just can’t do it. When you’ve had one guy over a 25 year touring career that has you in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, sometimes the singer is irreplaceable. The Stones are not the Stones without Jagger. The Who is not The Who without Roger Daltry. Even U2 is not U2 without Bono.
And if the remaining members of Aerosmith—all in their mid to late 50’s—think they are going to find a suitable replacement to tour the world singing “Dream On”, they’re nuts. At this stage of their career, fans want to hear just the hits at every show and they want it from the original lineup.
But don’t forget the savvy business sense that has made Aerosmith one of the wealthiest of all historic rock bands. They have set themselves up nicely for 2013 or 2014. You know, when they’re in their 60’s and need another huge paycheck.
Then we’ll hear about the inevitable comeback tour after Tyler and Perry reunite and are ready to play nice again.
It’s the way of the music business.
Are you sure you know your neighbor that well?
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………
On Sunday, I was given yet more inspiration from some of the football crowd for some interesting discussion. Don’t worry….it has nothing to do with football for the non-sports fans out there. But I do think I have to come up with a name for this collective group of guys who keep me humming with ideas. There’s typically about nine or ten of us there watching the games. Maybe I can call them the Neanderthal Nine?
My brother likes gin and tonics while watching the action. Maybe I can call it the Tanqueray Ten?
But it was such a beautiful 64 degree day for a Sunday in early November that me and a few of the boys went out on the deck to have a few coldies and rub some of that sun on our faces. The rest of the group stayed inside and laughed at the Fox NFL crew in their camouflage outfits live from Afghanistan. I preferred the sun and the more stimulating conversation.
We were talking about some of the idiots that have already made waves this month like the convicted rapist serial killer who pulled the ol’ John Wayne Gacy act and crammed corpses into every nook and cranny of his house. Then there’s the prick at Fort Hood that went on the shooting rampage until hero policewoman Kimberly Munley took him down.
But one of the guys had a little variation on a statement I’ve made on this blog previously. I once wrote a piece on scams and hoaxes and proclaimed that if there is a way for man to make money on this Earth, he has figured it out (and tried it).
After discussing the twisted minds of the forementioned animals in the news, one of the boys said, “Ya know, no matter what situation or scene you can think of…..it’s going on somewhere in the world. And probably within this crazy-ass country.”
I agree with that statement to a 99% degree. I mean, sure someone can throw on enough stipulations so that it is just impossible for that wacky lifestyle to be taking place. For example, a guy who thinks he’s Tinkerbell from Peter Pan (possible)……who’s restoring a pirate ship in his garage so he can hunt down Captain Hook (possible he’s doing that)……..and is also the prominent TV newscaster in town with Tourette’s Syndrome. All at once. Probably not really happening anywhere.
But there are some wacky people living some wacky lifestyles in this country (and world). I’m not talking about a cultural thing, either.
I’m talking about the person who thinks that the chief 6 characters on Friends are actual, real people named Phoebe, Joey, and Monica hanging out at the Central Perk coffee house and weaving their way thru life and love. And they believe it with all their hearts and souls. They have plans to go to the Central Perk in the hopes of catching some of these people there ! Or the people that really think there is a crime family in power in New Jersey called the Sopranos. They’re afraid to go to Jersey in the event they run into Paulie Walnuts and piss him off.
They’re out there. Don’t think they aren’t.
There are sects out there who practice cannibilism daily. They subsist on human flesh and organs and probably commit murder in an effort to sustain the group’s food supply.
There’s people out there living the vampire life….especially with the recent trend in vampire books and movies. They have glass bottles in their refrigerator containing real human blood that they drink like Sunny D. And some of them are also committing murder to keep themselves in the juice.
I learned as a psychology student that at any given time in the United States, there is anywhere from 15-40 serial killers praying on people just like the dickhead drywalling and insullating his home with human beings. That’s almost one serial killer per state claiming victims at all times.
But it doesn’t end there. Those are some of the more tamer people who walk among us.
There’s the guys like the bastard that kidnapped Jaycee Lee Dugard and held her as a sex slave in a tent compound for twenty years. Or the one that snatched Elizabeth Smart from her own bedroom and kept her hostage in the nearby forest area.
There’s people that have their homes decorated from top to bottom—floor to ceiling—–with beer cans. Or Star Wars trading cards. Or Playboy covers. Or dollar bills. Or human skin.
There’s people out there that only speak in Vulcan from Star Trek. Or the Elfin language from Lord of the Rings.
There’s some nutballs that live their life like a movie script 24 hours a day. They see themselves as Marcus Aurelius from Gladiator and speak in the English-Roman way portrayed in the movie. They practice their swordsmanship. They worship little people-pieces like Russell Crowe did in the movie as homage to his family. They’ve gone out and gotten the tattoo of the Roman Legion. They believe they lost their wife and child to a tyrannical Ceasar.
Oh, they’re out there. Dont’ think they ain’t.
It doesn’t even have to be a dark and heinous lifestyle. There was just a dude on the SciFy channel who went grocery shopping and loaded his cart up to almost overflowing. And as he shopped, he memorized the bar codes of every item he selected. He rattled them off at the cash register as the cashier smacked her bubblegum and rang him up.
There’s some folks who adamantly believe it is 1863 and Lincoln is President. They wish for the end of the war so that the nation can unite as one again.
No matter what scenario you come up with in your head, it is going on somewhere in the country—or at least the world. Almost anything. You may think you have come up with something that is just too ludicrous for someone to be doing. But in most cases you’d be wrong.
I just read an article in the Chicago Sun Times about a guy who was sentenced to jail for having relations with a horse. That in itself is sick…..but not exactly a first. But this guy was going to jail because it was not the first time he had assaulted the same beast. He’s in love. He can’t stay away from the animal and stop himself from expressing his feelings.
And because the horse can’t exactly file a restraining order, thankfully they’re putting the Casanova wanna-be behind bars.
Oh, they’re out there all right. Watch your back, folks.
The Chicago Bears…and then a true hero
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….
For the second time in 14 calender days yesterday afternoon, the Chicago Bears looked like they could use a hero. In what seemed like a rerun of the game against Cincinnati two weeks earlier, they got pummeled by a rather mediocre team. Yeah, the Arizona Cardinals made the Super Bowl last year, but they were an 8-8 wildcard team that got hot at the right time. This year, they play with more confidence, but it’s the same roster that went 8-8. Last week, Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner threw 5 interceptions.
This week, we made him look like Joe Montana, John Elway, and Dan Marino all rolled into one.
All of the usual components were there for the Bears. Jay Cutler led us to the usual 7 points entering the fourth quarter. And all the announcers and analysts would say was how bad the Bears defense was. Which it was. Atrocious. Horseshit. Embarrassing. Unacceptable.
But I’m sick to death of Jay Cutler still getting a free ride. The same announcers and analysts would rightfully knock the defense and then go on to say that the offense has been playing relatively well and they just need a chance to run their gameplan rather than play catch-up. The very last part of that statement has substance. The first part of that statement is a tired old song. And usually inaccurate. An offense is not doing “relatively well” when they put up 7 points thru 45 minutes of play against a decidely average defense. I’ve documented before how many times the Bears enter the fourth quarter with 12 points or less on the scoreboard. Mark down another week.
And then these fourth quarter scoring flurries may fool the highly paid announcers and expert analysts in the studio. But always having to throw the ball throughout the 4th quarter because your team is always trailing is not how a QB should get his numbers. Cutler had 369 yards and 3 TDs yesterday. Sounds like his greatest day as a Chicago Bear, doesn’t it? But those are only the inflated numbers a QB achieves when his team has gotten its ass kicked. Like happened yesterday.
When we needed Cutler to lead drives and match the Cardinals score-for-score, he couldn’t do it as usual. He threw an interception right into the open arms of a Cardinals safety to kill all hope at the end. He even contributed a 15 yard unsportsmanlike penalty for screaming at an official too loudly for pass interference. But in fairness, Cutler wasn’t the only weak performer yesterday. Like all of these ugly-ass losses, there are several goats who contributed.
I’ve said previously that for all of his Pro Bowls and his big contract, we only seem to hear Tommie Harris’ name about once per game. And yesterday was no exception. In the opening two minutes of the game, he punched a prone player on the field and drew an ejection….in addition to the 15 yard penalty. So that was it for him. We heard his name once and that was Tommie Harris’ contribution to the week. As always, Thanks Tommie !!
The defensive backs couldn’t cover a high school kid out there. Lovie Smith demonstrated his usual motivation skills. He also showed his crap-ass clock managing skills in the second half. Even “old reliable” Robbie Gould missed on a long field goal attempt—and then the Cardinals ran it back a good 50 yards on the sleepy Bears after having caught the short kick and returning it from the endzone.
This team needs a real honest-to-goodness hero. Someone with guts and determination. Someone to restore pride. Someone who sees a situation that needs fixing and runs toward it.
I don’t think that Kimberly Munley has actually gotten enough recognition thus far for her bravery and heroic shootout with the Ford Hood maniac. I’m not usually in the habit of praising police officers and their job on the street. Often their conduct is abominable. But this woman responded faster than anyone else to the barrage of gunfire and shot the assailant four times. She was wounded herself in the exchange.
This woman belongs right up there with our old buddy Sully the airplane pilot who landed in the Hudson, the courageous people who gave their lives protecting others at places like the Virginia Tech shootings and Columbine, and the 9/11 emergency crews.
It seems like so far, she is getting a lot of credit, but not actually enough. As a habit, news media focuses more on the negative than the positive. And so now the intensive focus is all about the shooter’s background and any shady ties he ever had in his life. But I feel there should be a little bit more celebration for Kimberly Munley’s efforts. She should be a household name like Sully.
We get an overdose of villains every single day. True heroes….and we’re not talking Alex Rodriguez or Derek Jeter here……true heroes only come along a handful of times per year. Kimberly Munley is one. I thought she deserved some recognition here.
Maybe when she recovers, she can play nose tackle for the Bears. I’d rather have a hero like her out there than Tommie Harris.
Someone I can really count on.
Cool episode of Survivor on Thursday
Dude, I’m tellin ya……….
I really enjoyed this past Thursday’s episode of Survivor and it’s not just because Pretty Boy Probst didn’t show up until about 7:28 or so. At the very end, it made me think of the scene from Goodfellas where Joe Pesci walks into the bar and an old acquaintance breaks his balls about when he was a young shoeshine boy. After some verbal sparring, everything seems to be resolved and calm. Then the old-timer tells Pesci, “Now go get your fuckin’ shine box!”
The show started with Russell making some rather humorous comments about how he’ll be controlling the feeble minds of his three remaining tribemates when the inevitable merge happens. I have a growing respect for this guy. I don’t know why, but ever since I started watching pro wrestling—I always root for the bad guy. As I’ve mentioned in the past, Russell gives his all on challenges. When wusses like Jaison are running out of steam, this Texan is still on full throttle. However you feel about his personality, he made it to the final 4 of his own decimated tribe and is still cranking. And entering the episode, he still had an immunity idol tucked down his pants.
Nope…….he’s not just glad to see ya. That’s an immunity idol he’s got there.
Next thing ya know, Shambo and Laura are havin’ a good old fashioned cat fight at their camp. Jesus Christ. This sounded like Frank and Estelle Costanza going at it on a rerun of Seinfeld. Talk about something scraping my nerves. It reminded me of when two tough guys are bitching at each other at work and someone says, “Girls….girls….please !!….”
Always good for a laugh in a macho place like a plant or a warehouse.
So finally the groups went to the alleged reward challenge and learned that the tribes were merging. They all received the new tribe headband and were rewarded with a feast. Perhaps the best part of the entire segment is that Probst wasn’t there. I don’t know…..somehow those minutes of the show were just better without him.
When the new, single tribe went back to the camp they’ll be staying at, Russell immediately went into recruitment mode. He approached both Laura and Monica and then eventually John. He revealed to basically everyone that he had the idol. His chief new ally turned out to be Shambo as they both cited their Southern background as a connection. This part of the show was entertaining and interesting as several scenarios developed as to who might be voted out later.
I have to admit that this is the first time in several shows that I really didn’t have a clue who would be going until it became much more apparent right before the Tribal Council. But it was decided that Laura would be going and most everyone seemed to be on-board. Then the picture got a little grayer.
They did an immunity challenge which was pretty damn basic and non-exciting, really. Each player got one, single chance to hit a ball off of a tee (like kids do before they play Little League). You had one swing to hit the ball into a scoring zone. To make things more fair, they did seperate the guys from the girls which I did think was smart and logical. As a result, two players would be receiving immunity. In the end, it turned out to be John winning the men’s division and Laura winning the women’s side.
Talk about saving your ass in a BIG-TIME way. Without that win, she was gone.
So then the maneuvering in camp started all over again. The entire plan that had been hatched was ruined. So several more scenarios developed—many of which were meant to lure Russell into playing his idol–even though he wasn’t going to be the one voted for. In the end, everyone basically decided on blindsiding Erik. Which they did.
Most of us who are fans of this show love a good blindside. Some cocky-ass sonofabitch thinks he’s in pretty good command of things and believes he’s in on a certain vote strategy and then……POW ! Right in the kisser !!! Any chance Erik had of luring any fence sitters his way at the last moment at Tribal Council went out the window when he started brazenly attacking people’s character. He came off as a real dick that hadn’t been so evident to that point. I smirked when he tried to give a final manly hand clasp to one of the male members of his tribe (Dave perhaps?) and he got a cold shoulder. He was definitley stunned by the vote. Awesome.
When I thought about it as his torch was being doused by the now-present Probst, I had chuckled a few times during previous episodes when this guy was huddled in his little tree nook. He’d peek out at the rain and he kind of looked like a sissy a few times. It took his ouster to make me recall that this guy was actually a little bit of a twitch.
So as he turned to leave and exit the Tribal Council area, my thoughts drifted to that scene from Goodfellas. I laughed to myself as I said,
“Now go crawl in your little fuckin’ tree nook! “
You little twitch.
The Dirty Dozen
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….
I had to pat myself on the back last night after Mariano Rivera recorded the last out for the Yankees for them to win the World Series.
Did I call this one pretty good or what?
In earlier posts, I predicted the Yankees win it in 6. They did. I predicted that after Cliff Lee, the Phillies starting pitching sucked and they ended up losing every game Cliff Lee did not start. I pointed out that Brad Lidge was always shaky, but Mariano Rivera was on fire. Lidge blew a tie game in Game 4 that the Phils ended up losing. Mariano was brilliant from start to finish. Finally, when the Yanks held a 3 games to 1 lead and could have closed it out in 5, I stood my ground and said Lee would get the Phils to Game 6 where the Yanks would then win it.
To those of you who took my advice and bet the kids college funds, you may send my cut to:
1234 Fake Street
Springfield
But I feel like I’ve been on a pretty good psychic roll lately and thought I’d throw out some more prophecy for you to profit from. My spidey senses have really been tingling. In no particular order of significance, this is the dirty dozen:
1) As I’ve said in my covering of the Chicago Bears all season, they will be no better than 8-8. Of course I hope I’m wrong on this one. But it’s what I’ve said from the beginning and I’m not going to slink away from it now. Even with the team 4-3 and above the .500 mark at the moment. Do note that I’m saying no better than 8-8. They can be 7-9, or God forbid 6-10, and this one is still good.
2) The Blackhawks will at least make the conference finals….same as last year. Anything short of that and I’ll be pissed. And the team and all Hawks fans collectively will deem this year a failure. But I do see us making the conference finals at a minimum. If we don’t even qualify for the conference finals, this is a loser. And I’m not saying WIN the conference finals…..I’m saying we’ll make them.
3) The Chicago Bulls will finish 43-39 at the very best. That’ll be more than good enough to make the Eastern Conference playoffs like every year. But you will not see anything close….not even close to the exhilirating, exciting playoff run the Bulls made last year. We may not make it past the first round. They are pretty much a .500 team but I envision a 42-40 record….or 43-39 at best.
4) Jake Peavy will win between 16-19 games for the Chicago WhiteSox next year. Anything out of that range and this one is a loser. But if he ends up winning 20 or more, I hope it’d be recognized that I was predicting some nice success for him. What the prediction really says is that he will not be a major bust. And this one is a double dipper……Now that the whole sale to the Ricketts family is done, I see the Cubs acquiring another big-money front line free agent. Or working a rather big trade for a major name. Like packaging Bradley and Harden in a single deal for a stud. Or trading Harden or Bradley and signing a starting pitcher like John Lackey.
5) The Indianapolis Colts will win this season’s Super Bowl. Book it. That’s my prediction. See address above to send me my cut.
6) I agree with the security expert Juval Aviv that I discussed in a recent post {See: Let’s Face it: There’s Really No Stopping Terrorism} in that the next major terrorist attack within US borders will happen in the next 3-5 months. And we’re not talking about something terrible like one little cell blowing up a small apartment building and killing six people. We’re talking about a serious undertaking in the works for a long time now that kills dozens or more. I hope this one is wrong too. But it’s those friggin spidey senses.
7) From 11/1/09 thru 11/1/2010 , a major music star under the age of 45 will die. And by a major star, I mean a really big star. I’m not talking about a drummer from the White Stripes or a bass player from Blink 182. I by no means hope any of these people fulfill this prophecy, but I am talking about (and not limited to) people like: Beyonce, John Mayer, Keith Urban, 50 Cent, Jay-Z, Britney Spears, John Legend, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, Gwen Stefani, etc etc…. One of the really big names in music. Hey, the shit happens. Watcha gonna do?
8) In the same token, so does divorce. And between 11/1/09 and 11/1/2010, a really huge high-profile couple will file for divorce. And again, I’n not talking about a Steven Seagal and whoever he’s married to. Or even a Gwen Stefani and her rock star husband. I’m talking big like Angelina and Brad splitting up. Or say a Beyonce and Jay-Z. Or at the very least, a Jesse James and Sandra Bullock. OK…OK…just to set a minimum, the lowest I’ll accept is something on the level of Courtney Cox and David Arquette. Or David Letterman and his wife.
9) Christmas sales will really suck this year surprising only the White House and the American media. This will demonstrate how very little economic progress has occurred across the country despite everyone high up trying to tell you it’s getting much better. There will be a lot of disappointing sales reports. We will head into 2010 with a little less optimism than if it was a bustling holiday shopping season.
10) There will be a really, really aggressive move made on a neighboring country between the dates 12/1/09 and 12/31/2010 by one of the two countries most likely to do it: Iran or North Korea. One of these countries will aggress against one of their declared enemies in a way that draws world condemnation and serious repurcussions. Unfortunately, it will happen by the end of next year.
11) This winter will be a real bastard across the US. I mean totally brutal like we haven’t seen in about 15-20 years at least. There will be some incredible snowfalls in many parts of the country. Even warmer areas like the far west and deep south will get some winter loving. It will be one that is the topic of much conversation and concern.
12) Finally, perhaps we can call this a good one. Either Fidel Castro or our other buddy out there in the world Kim Jong-il ——one or both of them will be deceased by 12/31/2010. Bet the kids college funds on it. Only one has to pass away for this to be a winner. So to speak.
So I will watch for events that may apply to these prophecies over the next 13 1/2 months. My judgement will be fair when it comes to celebrity divorces and the like. Kinda looks like a rough 2010, doesn’t it?
Look at it this way, if nothing else……….at least the Hawks will be in the conference finals.
George Carlin knew bullshit when he saw it
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….
I’m feeling a little bit on the ledge today. Why is it that whenever you seem to be working hardest toward your goals and really doing everything “right”, that is when you make the least progress and suffer the most setbacks? It’s times like that when shortcuts and cheating one’s way thru life seem the most attractive, ya know? It’s been like that the past few days.
I always loved George Carlin and his bits on bullshit. As he said, “bullshit is the glue that holds us together as a people. Where would we be as a nation without our safe, familiar American bullshit?”
In one of his later stand-up shows, he added on to his old routine to keep it fresh and relevant to what we deal with today. Just to remind you, here are a few of the things he saw as bullshit…..and I have to agree on every last one of ’em:
“the land of the free….the home of the brave”
“The American Dream”
“all men are equal”
“justice is blind”
“the press is free”
“your vote counts”
“business is honest”
“the good guys win”
“the police are on your side” OR “the police are your friend”
“you can grow up to be anything you want to be”
“everything is going to be just fine” (AKA The American Okey-Doke ! )
George would go on to say that every single one of these statements is prove-ably untrue on one level or another but we believe them because they have been pounded into our skull since childhood.
Was this guy in touch with the true nature of the US or what? He’s one of my all-time heroes, really.
My parents always told me from a young age how important college was. They stressed how if I went to college, I would always be marketable and working. It was a first-class, stamped ticket to success and security. They said I want to always work with my mind……not my back. Make sure I go to college.
Unfortunately I bought into that bullshit and earned two bachelors degrees in four years—taking 15 credit hours per semester for four straight years while I also worked on the school newspaper, joined networking clubs, and held a part-time maintenance job on campus.
However, as I find myself out of work for the third time in thirteen years or so, I have to say I agree with Mr. Carlin more than my beloved parents. I’ve never been let go for tardiness or poor work. Never for a costly financial mistake. Nor non-attendance. Two places simply went out of business because the Sam’s Clubs and the Wal-Marts forever squashed the family stores in the US. At my last place of work, a manufacturing plant, China has taken the place of Wal-Mart. They are the new hammer that pounds US businesses into pulp. At another stop, a new owner bought the company and cleaned house of the able people working there to bring in his own cronies. Not seeing much of the success and security I was promised.
So at the moment, I find myself looking for work. And an ally at a successful placement agency has been working closely with me the past few months. Her latest client has an attractive position to fill but the candidate must have a college degree. No problem. The two degrees I earned were one of the easist pursuits of my life. Did it with my eyes closed. I could’ve earned a third one by the end of a fifth year in school. Collect the damn things like baseball cards.
Because of the required degree, my ally reached out to my alma mater for the first time to confirm my schooling……….and yesterday she was told they never heard of me. No degrees. No record. I’m a complete stranger to them. Bubkus.
Obviously I jumped on the case right away. I have a copy of my transcripts. I have a letter from my academic advisor from 1992 acknowledging my degree achievements. My parents have pictures of me in a blue gown from when my name was called and I walked on-stage to accept the dean’s handshake. In my first call to the Records Department, I gave her my social security number and she called my file right up. But couldn’t help me beyond that.
So then we moved on to the Graduate Office. They also pulled up my file right away. But can’t help me. They referred me to the School of Journalism where one of my degrees is from. And thus far, they can’t….or won’t help me.
This is why my kids will never, ever go to college. It’s part of the big, steaming pile of American bullshit. Pay $100,000 + for a certificate that is supposed to deem you more qualified than other job applicants. Somehow in my job experiences, the more higher education someone has, the more inept and incompetent they usually are. Ninety percent of the people I poll typically agree it is the same at their workplace. The grunts do 90% of the work in most companies. The college educated people are often the ones making the costly mistakes, deviating from SOP, no-showing meetings with clients, and driving the company into non-existence.
The most successful people I know don’t have college degrees. No bullshit. They’re carpenters and musicians and auto-body guys. They work plumbing and roofing and concrete. My brother never went to college and he has made more money than me since the day I got out of that college (that I allegedly never went to..).
I’m going to do my kids a huge favor and put their college money to better use. The bullshit goal we usually sell our kids is to go to college and get a good, high-paying job so that they can buy a house and raise a family.
I’m going to save like any other parent from my child’s birth. We’ll even call it a college fund to keep the bullshit alive. But then we will take the $150,000 we save up and help our son/daughter buy that house we talked about. Why wait until after four years are wasted at college? And then landing a first job and saving up a down payment, etc? They can even contribute four years worth of their own earning power from the ages 18-22 that they would otherwise be wasting on college.
And the kids will be just fine. I know more college degree holders out of work right now than high school (only) grads. By a huge margin. So there are no worries they will have a trade or work for a friend and somehow make ends meet. The idea that they can’t without precious college is Grade A bullshit.
I mean after all, what’s the other option? Spend 4 years or more of your life at an institution where most of the instructors don’t even speak English as a first language? Spending well over $100,000 in the process? Losing four years (or more) of earning potential in this short life we have? Studying and working your ass off—for nothing?
Just to be told you never attended the school and they never heard of you? Please.