Medical emergency on Survivor
Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………………
This week’s episode started off with a statement from pot-bellied Russell that I totally agree with. I often question the alleged toughness that these people have to go thru on the show. Oh, they don’t eat for 3 days….welcome to unemployment. But anyway, pot-bellied Russell was saying he welcomed the non-stop rain that was hammering the tribes. He said something to the tune of, ” All this sunny, nice weather sucks. I’d take my family on a vacation out here when the sun is shining. I like the rain. If it rains for 7 days straight and wipes out one person, I’ll be happy.”
Amen, brother. I hear ya. That proved to be prophetic. They already minimalize the punishment of the challenges with their “light-combat” rules. Like I’ve said before, find your way out of US Cellular on the South Side of Chicago on-foot late at night after a game and tell me how tough Survivor is. At least the producers can’t control the weather. And it has taken its toll. It has now rained for a good 4 of the last 5 days on these people. Relentless.
Yet, call me an even bigger pig than last week….call me a total scumbag loser. But blonde hairstylist Kelly somehow still looks like she’s shooting a spot for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. Early in the episode, she was curled up under some palm trees and giving her thoughts on the tribe. She looked like a million dollars for having spent 15 days starving in the jungle. The same goes for one of my personal favorites, Monica the law student. She could still pose for Maxim with the way she looks after two weeks (allegedly) trying to survive.
Like I mentioned before, I know I would look like horseshit by then. Remember on season 1 when Susan Hawk and Kelli Wadsworth had a forest growing underneath their arms and looked really awful? No cuties that season. Apparently that isn’t allowed anymore. Monica looks like she just stepped out of the surf in a James Bond flick and is ready for a pictorial. Hey, I know a grad student like Monica who looks absolutely stunning. Freakin’ incredible. But if we sent her out to (allegedly) survive in some (supposedly) unforgiving conditions, she’d probably wilt and look terrible. Maybe not, knowing her. She does have some moxie.
But back to the show. The two tribes showed up at the challenge and were told that regardless of who won the challenge, BOTH tribes would go to tribal council and vote out a member. I don’t like that bullshit. This is one of their cheap ways to keep things close when one tribe is kicking the other’s ass. I mentioned how they like to do this in a previous post. Even though this would have allowed the weaker tribe to keep pace with the stronger one, it was like saying the producers figured the weaker tribe to lose and were going to keep things status quo. Lame.
The dread-locked Russell fouled up the producers’ plans by passing out during the contest. He had pushed himself keeping the tribe’s fire alive during the torrential downpour. When it came time for the challenge, he had little left to give. Normally, my buddies and I would have torn him a new asshole if this was the NFL on a Sunday afternoon. But it wasn’t. He was down-and-out. Gave it his all.
At first, the asshole in me DID come out when I asked myself why they stopped the challenge because one guy couldn’t continue? Why can’t the other team continue on and probably win with the advantage they gained? Is this Survivor or tiddly-winks? But thanks once again to the level-headed advice of my more civilized friends (like the grad student), I realized that dread-locked Russell was likely finished and he would be the lone ouster from this week’s show.
I did get a kick out of Russell’s teammate Dave, the fitness instructor, questioning Russell’s condition and dismissing it on the man’s extra efforts during the rain showers. A professional fitness instuctor couldn’t tell when another person was in serious physical distress. Nice. What a stroke.
I did think the result of the challenge was weak, though. No one won the reward. Both tribes were told they had to go to the tribal council. {Now in the end, neither tribe had to vote someone off due to dread-locked Russell’s withdrawl}. But I thought the one tribe got ripped off. The challenge was halted because a participant on one tribe couldn’t continue. This has opened up a whole new door.
Again, this is how my mind thinks…….whenever your tribe is getting trounced in a challenge, feign a serious injury !! You won’t get eliminated from the show because of course you will make a miraculous physical comeback after the challenge. But you avoided the loss in the challenge !!
Survivor just invites that sort of shit if they had any real, scheming, smart challengers like me instead of a bunch of hired models and schmucks.
I do want to give proper kudos to dread-locked Russell, though. I had absolutely no complaints about this guy. I cajoled him last week for sniping at his tribemate Dave over starting the campfire. But if that was my biggest complaint after two weeks with this guy running a tribe….that’s a tribute to him. He led the dominant tribe. He wasn’t a tyrannical dick. He explained his decision to send Butch….er…Shambo… on the scouting mission to the other tribe’s camp two times in a row. And he lost his remaining energy keeping the tribe’s fire going in the torrential downpour. He wanted to stay when they told him he was being removed from the game. He cried…….and I have nothing to say about that. A stand-up guy. I have always tried to surround myself with tough, stand-up guys who wouldn’t crack under pressure.
Dread-locked Russell deserves a spot on the (alleged) upcoming All-Stars show. He reminds me of that dude Mike that killed a wild pig in the forest many seasons ago and then fell in the fire from exhaustion. I always thought he deserved another chance on an All-Star season. Perhaps he was invited to play, but declined. He was cool. A real warrior.
So pot-bellied Russell, the weak–but hot—law student Monica, and even the men’s BVD-wearing Shambo survived yet another week. Who will piss off their tribemates enough next week to get ousted?
{use the Adam West voiceover here)
Same Probst time !!
Same Probst channel !!