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Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

The Bears tried to save a little face yesterday against the hapless Cleveland Browns and accomplished that goal—-a little bit. I didn’t think there could be a worse team in football than the Detroit Lions after we played them. But Cleveland sucks pretty bad too. And despite the Bears easy victory, not everything looked great out on that field. Walter Payton’s daughter looked great during the halftime ceremony in honor of #34. But the Bears themselves were lucky this was the Cleveland Browns.

In the first six minutes or so of the game, both teams had three possessions of 3-and-out. It was like watching flies fuck. BORING. Finally, the Bears eeked out a damn first down. And thank God for Robbie Gould. He and the punter Brad Maynard have been the team MVPs over the reign of Lovie Smith. So Gould eventually had us up 9-0 because future Hall of Famer Jay Cutler once again couldn’t crack the end zone. Finally on our 4th foray into the red zone, Matt Forte rewarded fans with a TD.

Cutler finished the day with zero touchdowns and one interception making his numbers 11 TD and 11 INT on the season. Somebody start carving his bust for Canton.

Our Bears are 4-3 now, but our only hope of the playoffs is as a wild-card because Minnesota is still rolling. We still have to play them twice which could really change things. But we sure won’t be beating them if we play like we did yesterday. With Cleveland you can get away with it. Not with the Vikings.

In other updates, I checked in on October’s Asshole of the Month, Richard Heene, and yup—-he’s still an asshole.

Oh, the huge Dick Ourada Band holiday show is less than 4 weeks away now. The buzz on the street is picking up. Apparently Rolling Lanes (host site of the extravaganza) has told all bartenders to be ready for duty. It s the busiest night of the year for the bar and you’ll have to get there early to get a table. That is worth the effort though when opener Andy “The Big Deal” Plzak gets things started. Be sure you line up the babysitter now and make your plans for Saturday, November 28. {see earlier post The Dick Ourada Band Ready to Rock  Out  Again}.

I predicted the Yankees would win the World Series in six games mainly due to Philadelphia’s lack of pitching. So far, the Yanks are up 3-1 in games after Philly closer Brad Lidge blew a tie game in the 9th inning. I had said he was a roll of the dice whereas Yankees closer Mariano Rivera is a sure thing. The Phillies tied the game at 4-4 last night in the bottom of the 8th on a clutch homerun by Pedro Feliz. Then Lidge came on for the 9th and it was 7-4 before the Phillies could get back up to bat. But then Mariano came in to seal the deal. Which he did.

The Phillies could very well win one more game because they are sending ace Cliff Lee back out to the mound for the next game. He’s the guy who won game 1 with a shutout. But like I said before, after that the pitching takes a sharp decline for the Phils. And they’ve lost games 2,3, and 4 because of it. Now Lee comes back to win game 5. And the Yankees win the title in game 6.

I told you to bet the kids’ college funds, didn’t I ?

And remember my rant about how many damn football analysts there are out there and how long they ramble on-and-on about the games? Well next week we’re in for an even longer day with these slugs. They’re going to do the pre-game show from Afghanistan and it starts an hour earlier than usual ! Yippee !! We’ll get to see Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long give their really heart-felt thanks to our troops as they wear their Rolex watches in their $5000 dollars suits. Right before they jet the hell out of there and race back to their mansions and ranches as fast as they can.

Or worse, they’ll dress these bozos up in army fatigues and these pampered millionaires will prance around like they’re in the military too !!

Actually eating the same slop at the same mess hall as our brave men and women of the service. God bless Terry Bradshaw and Howie Long.

I don’t mind our troops being entertained by the WWE or a traveling group of celebs. But when one of these outfits like the NFL pre-game show go to a hot spot and we have to see the montage of the hugs and back slapping and the almost teary-eyed testimonials of the hosts (like Bradshaw and Long). I don’t buy it from those guys. They act like “one of the boys” out there and blue collar like so many of us truly are. But usually these guys wouldn’t be caught dead without their Italian leather shoes and their Hummer or BMW. They may have grown up in a blue collar town and once been grind-it-out grunts like us, but they’ve now been too rich for too long.

Finally, I hope you had a great Halloween. A friend of mine threw a party and it had everything from Mike Ditka to Jon Gosselin to a nun. And an afternoon stop at Hooters in the afternoon was enjoyable too. Those girls know how to dress up ! Next good time on the agenda looks to be Thanksgiving ….followed two days later by the Dick Ourada Band spectacular.

It’ll be a terrific night out. You can bet the kids’ college funds on it.