It’s a big party night & a big fundraiser night too

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

Tomorrow night, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, is now widely acknowledged as perhaps the most popular night of the year for people to go out. I first heard this in the early ’90s when I was a regular on the bar/party scene. I didn’t hear it so much when I first starting going to bars in the late ’80s. But by the time I was in my early-mid twenties, people were saying this more and more.

It’s not hard to see why it is a popular night for somewhat younger people to go out and let their hair down. Basically, most people with jobs are off the next day. You can sleep in a little bit. Unless you are hosting the family gathering on Thanksgiving, the biggest expectation on you Thursday is to eat like a pig and be merry. Of course, if you are hosting the big day, well….that’s a little different. But if you are just expected to show up at someone’s house with a bottle of wine and an appetite (like me), then it’s easy to see why Wednesday night is such a busy social scene.

It has surpassed New Year’s Eve, Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day, and Super Bowl Sunday on the party scale. According to reports.

The NFL has missed the boat for over three decades by not changing the Super Bowl to Saturday night. Scheduled on Sunday afternoons like it is now, everyone has to work the next day. Parties break up as soon as the final tick of the clock happens. If the game is a blowout and sucks, some parties start to dwindle even sooner. And even with the game on Sunday afternoon, look how big of an event it is. Imagine the bar parties and the house parties if it were on a Saturday night? They would continue going long after the game ends.

But the NFL is kind of dumb that way. So it’s probably not even being considered.

I also wonder why July 3rd hasn’t grown to be a huge party night too. Basically everyone is off the next day for that holiday too. At most, you have to strike up the BBQ and take the kids to a fireworks show the next day. Or even easier, replace the bottle of wine with a case of beer and go to someone else’s BBQ !! Like me.

But back to the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. I myself very rarely go out on these kind of days. Haven’t been out on St. Patty’s Day in years. And I’m staying in Wednesday night as well.

One of my closest buddies really put it in perspective a long time ago when he started staying in on nights like this. We all partied pretty hard back then. I’m talking real hard. One week for us was a whole year of the craziest nights out for many people. We were in our 20’s. We’d go out 4-5 nights a week and chase women. Tie one on. Maybe smoke some funny things. Get into fights and get banned from the local bars. And on weekend afternoons, we might be up at the forest preserve having a softball game and grilling some food with a keg of beer.

As my friend put it…..”Dude, nights like the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and St. Patrick’s Day are for lightweights and amateurs. People that go out a half-dozen times a year gotta go out on nights like that. The bars are over-crowded. It sucks. They go out five times a year and party like rock stars. At least they think they are. Listen, we party like rock stars six days a week. And we still get up at the crack of dawn and go to work the next day. These people are amateur hour. Then they hit the road all drunk cuz they’re not used to it. And then the cops come out and have a field day with all of the idiots out there.”

What he said made so much sense that I immediately stopped going out on most nights like that. The boys and I had a lot more secret incomes and scams to hide back then and sure didn’t need any extra attention. For the most part, we tried to fly under the radar. So many of us stopped feeling it was mandatory to be out on those “special” nights.

Probably the most important thing in his philosophy is the end part. It is one of the biggest fundraising nights for suburban police forces and their communities. They are licking their chops. Can anyone say roadblocks? Can anyone say quota?

Remember what George Carlin said about bullshit. I mentioned it once before. The police are NOT your friend. They are NOT there to help you. They are out to get you. They are not to be trusted. The chief function of suburban cops is to raise funds for the community coffers. And boy, do they love nights like the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.

Watch out. Beware. Be very, very careful. I can’t stress it enough. Of course you should be careful and respectful of the law just out of respect for your fellow man and society’s rules. But the police don’t follow the rules. They are there to fill a quota and maximize profits for the evening. Like a corporation. In our laughable court system, they are the judge, jury, and executioner right there on the side of the road. When that red light goes on behind you——you are guilty. The truth doesn’t matter. Facts do not matter. You will be making a contribution to that suburb’s community chest. Remember that.

So if you are going out Wednesday night, have fun. Enjoy yourself. It’s been a tough year for all of us. But use your head. Take a cab. Carpool with some friends and do the designated driver thing. Drink responsibly. But most of all…….I implore you…….

…don’t give the glorified meter readers that make up suburban police forces the satisfaction of throwing a hand grenade in your life.

Cuz they’ll do it and laugh among themselves as they process you.

Seen it happen.