Shambo bites the dust on Survivor

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

Despite what he has accomplished to date and even though I have grown to really admire him, to me Russell pulled one of the dumbest moves on Survivor that I can remember. I almost wish he got voted off to teach his ass a lesson.

The show started with the final 6 tribesmates at camp. Shambo made her usual ass of herself going on about her scummy hair and acting like Jenna Jameson around the campfire as Brett picked the fleas out of her hair like they were a couple of chimps at the freakin’ zoo. 

Finally that uncomfortable moaning was disrupted when they jumped to the next day and there was a reward challenge. The tribe was divided into two groups of 3 and they had to pull strings on a suspended batch of coconuts. The goal was to not dislodge any of the coconuts if possible. The first team to dislodge 100 coconuts lost. A game of Jenga but Survivor-style. The prize was one of the cool cultural trips that Survivor puts together complete with natives preparing a feast and some local music and dancing on the beach. Then the winners would sleep in a comfy bed for the night.

In a blatant (to me, at least) example of how Pretty Boy Probst watches footage of the tape in order to interrogate and pester the contestants, he started riding Shambo about her hairstyle right at the start of the reward challenge. Coincidence? She tried to play it off the way she always does when she looks bad—–like when she bid for and won the pile of sea slugs in the food auction. But that was the type of thing that reminds me this is a very staged and purposeful “reality” show.

So somehow, Shambo and her teammates overcame the subtle mocking by Probst and won the challenge. They got to go on the cultural experience and chow down on some good grub to revitalize themselves a bit. Then get a good night’s rest in the comfy sleeping quarters. Even there, Shambo acted like some sort of goofball on her first sleepover. What a friggin’ weirdo.

During the course of the reward festivities, Russell and his partners confirmed to each other that Brett remained the biggest threat. They agreed that if he didn’t win immunity for the second time in a row, then Brett was gone. And if he did win immunity, they targeted Mick. However, there was some red herrings put out there that Natalie was scraping some nerves by choosing Brett to be her first teammate in the challenge……and then their spiritual connection seemed to enhance that bond. So she was dangled as an alternative to Mick—if Brett won the immunity challenge.

The immunity challenge itself was about memorizing the unit count in a variety of settings. They had pigs in a coop, they had a bunch of rocks on a table, a collection of fish, etc. Then you had to produce a combination from those unit counts that produced a formula to release a hammer. Once you had the hammer, you smashed your tile and won immunity.

Lo and behold, Brett won immunity for the second week in a row foiling Russell’s ideal plan. So now Russell had to decide between Mick and Natalie. But the heat on Natalie was more of the show’s editing than a true threat. The true choices were Mick or Shambo.

Shambo had pretty much worn out her usage at this point. Number one, the former Foa Foa tribe that was facing a helpless numbers disadvantage some weeks ago now has the majority….thanks to Shambo jumping ship. Like Benedict Arnold. And number two, she’s a freakin’ nutcase who you always have to keep an eye on to make sure she doesn’t go loco.

You know the type I’m talking about. Yeah…yeah…she’s entertaining until you start thinking she has a little Travis Bickle from Taxi Driver in her. That’s when you stop sleeping at night just to keep an eye on old girl. And when you desperately need sleep 36 days in the bush, you have to vote a psycho bitch like her out of there. Am I right?

Like Stone Cold Steve Austin used to say, ” Can I get a HELL YEAH ??? “

And when it was said-and-done, Shambo was the latest blindside.

But I want to call out Russell on this one. Last week, I said he should play the immunity idol no matter what this week. I actually had no idea this was the last week that he could actually play it. And when he had the opportunity to do so, he said he was going to keep it around his neck and consider it a souvenir.

I didn’t like that move at all. And not because it was cocky or ballsy or pompous……simply because it is the wrong mathmatical move to make. You spend 36 days on an island starving and suffering and you have a guaranteed ticket to the final 5 and you leave that 1% risk out there to get voted out ?? He could be blindsided as easy as anyone else. It’s possible in the realm of possibility. It’s a mathmatical possibility.

I was hoping he would get voted out even though the show’s own editing pretty well eliminated that notion from my mind. They don’t have the balls to not show any footage at all of other players scheming against Russell and then have him voted out. This was the first show in four weeks in which Russell’s name didn’t get thrown in the hat. So there was no way he was going home; at least for the viewers to see. But there on the island with no footage to watch, Russell should have played the idol and bought his way into the final 5.

He got a little bit lucky in my book.

So this Sunday is the big finale. A champion will be crowned.

Oh shit !! I almost forgot. Did you see how smokin’ my girl Monica looked on the jury?

See ya Sunday.