Confessions and Apologies

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

It seems like we’ve been saturated over the last several months with confessions and semi-believable apologies. The confessions only come out after the sinner is caught red-handed. They would have never come forward if they hadn’t been exposed and it’s obvious they can’t hide the sin anymore. So then we get the tearful apology that would make Meryl Streep proud.

It started well over a year ago when baseball star Roger Clemens was run through the media grinder about his steroid use. His reputation was already soiled by the extramarital affair he carried on with country singer Martina McBride. At least he confessed to the public and his family about that form of cheating. But then his ex-personal trainer, in trying to cover his own ass, exposed both Roger Clemens and fellow pitcher Andy Pettite as steroid abusers. Pettite decided to take the slightly higher road in acknowledging his usage and apologized to the fans and the game of baseball. Now, nobody really even holds it against him.

But Clemens has taken the Pete Rose / Mark McGwire approach to this day. He adamantly denies he ever took steroids and gave a couple of huffy press conferences trying desperately to protect his damaged reputation. Rose finally ‘fessed up to his gambling on baseball after years of denials and expulsion from the game he revered. And until yesterday, McGwire also denied his steroid use which, like Rose and his sins, has cost him his spot in the baseball Hall of Fame. But more on Mac in a minute.

Now that McGwire has come clean, we’re just waiting for Clemens and Sammy Sosa to confess to their underhanded ways. They’re some of the only guys left holding up the wall of deceit.

That’s because Alex Rodriguez…..he of the $250 million contract at the beginning of the millenium…….and now the proud owner of another quarter-billion dollar deal……finally confessed to his steroid usage early in 2009. And we were given the glassy-eyed apology that accompanies all of these confessions on an interview with 60 Minutes. Like Pettite, he is now the proud owner of a new World Series ring, fresh accolades, and many more millions of dollars. Because they confessed and apologized.

So now yesterday, McGwire finally admitted that when he broke the major league single season homerun record in 1998, he was juiced up on steroids. And we got the obligatory glassy-eyed apology to go with it.

What I want to see from all of these allegedly repentant cheaters is a return of the money they basically stole while commiting their fraudulant performances.

For one, I’d like to see MLB (Major League Baseball) immediately strike McGwire’s 1998 season from any charts  / lists for single season performances. His record was already broken by a juiced-up Barry Bonds. But that whole season should be erased from record books and encyclopedias at once. That’s just what baseball should do in the name of integrity for the game.

But if these bozos are really sorry, they should give back the money they “earned” while cheating the public, MLB, and the owners of the teams that signed their paychecks. Alex Rodriguez should give back a good $125 million to Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks. He was the sucker that gave ARod that first contract based on false statistics. And then while playing for Grieve’s team, ARod continued to use steroids putting up additional fake numbers.

McGwire should do the same to the owners of the St. Louis Cardinals. Based on his gargantuan HR totals, McGwire was making a good $10-13 million per year back in 1998-2001. He should give about half of that back if he is really sorry for his actions. The mansion he lives in, the sports cars he drives, the luxury vacations he has taken were all paid for by dirty money he cheated to get. Same for ARod.

But the confessions and half-hearted apologies don’t just apply to sports stars.

Let’s not forget our old buddy David Letterman and his on-air acknowledgment of his own extra-marital affairs. Of course, he kept his mouth shut for years and years and only came forward when the cat was completely out-of-the-bag. Otherwise, Mr. Repentant would still smugly be holding his secret and smirking at his ignorant wife and the adoring viewers.

Same as Tiger Woods. Oh yeah…..he’s sorry now. He’s sorry mostly because of the lost sponsors that will greatly diminish his future income for a while. And he’s sorry for the $500 million dollars (at least) that he’ll surrender to wife Elin when she officially divorces his sorry ass. Least of all is his regret about the indiscretions themselves and the damage he did to his family.

But still the public was given the standard apology prepared by a team of publicists about how remoresful he is, and blah..blah..blah..

At least in the case of Letterman and Woods, I don’t think they need to surrender any earnings they made at their respective professions. Except in potential divorce proceedings. Their sins didn’t really have anything to do with their performances (although Letterman’s indiscretions did take place with work colleagues–oftentimes at the workplace itself). But the sports stars’ sins enhanced their on-field performances–duping team owners to reward them handsomely for fake achievements.

I’ll say this, though. Except for Sosa and Clemens, at least these guys confessed after they were caught red-handed and exposed. Balloon-boy hoaxster Richard Henne is still maintaining that he didn’t pimp out his children and that the whole affair wasn’t a trick, even as he serves a 90 day jail sentence for it. There’s a lot of guys in prison who claim they didn’t do the crime they are accused of….maybe as many as 75-80% . So his claims of innocence are right in line with the other people of his ilk.

But what he, Sosa, and Clemens aren’t seeing is the level of forgiveness we award confessors. There’s not a doubt in my mind that by the summer of 2011, Tiger Woods will have made a triumphant return to the golf links and have most of his sponsorships back as soon as he wins his first tournament. That could be as early as the first tournament he participates in thanks to his talent. Just confess and the public allows you to return to the mega-million dollar lifestyle you had in the first place.

Just ask Andy Pettite. He’ll tell ya.