What the hell is true wealth ?

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya……….

A couple of things had me thinking lately about the measure of wealth among celebrities and other people.

First there was the telethon for the victims of Haiti on Friday night and all the celebs that appeared and appealed for donations on behalf of the people hurting on the island nation. And then when I was laid up with a bad dose of the flu all weekend, I saw a few episodes of MTV Cribs on the dummy box and it got me thinking even more.

Usually I hate celebrities. Partly out of jealousy and partly out of many of their pompous atttitudes and statements. Like those celebrities that spout off about the government (Alec Baldwin, Danny Glover, Susan Sarandon, et al). Or those that just go on those back-patting talk shows and act like they have more deep-rooted and personal experiences than the rest of us on one topic or another (Tom Cruise). Many of them dropped out of high school or skipped college in pursuit of their craft…..which I have no problem with. But then they give these anecdotes to Jay Leno or Jimmy Kimmel about how passionate they are on a certain subject like they have five times the life experiences that the general public has.

And in some elements of life, they do have more applicable life experiences. They have traveled to parts of the globe that most of us have not. And in doing so, they can see the orphans left behind after a natural catastrophe or the damage done by a drought or maniacal dictator. But in the same token, they have wealth that limits their scope on reality. They see suffering and believe they can relate on a true, same-as-you-and-me level. In a lot of cases, they simply can’t.

While they may have a social conscience and feel strongly about a cause, many celebs are second (or even third generation) celebrities and have no clue what it is like to personally be down and out. Some have come from humble beginnings. Others have not. I don’t mean to diss people like Drew Barrymore, Liza Minelli, or Michael Douglas— or younger people like Miley Cyrus or even an Angelina Jolie….but they have had money, security and comfort their whole lives. The Barrymore and Douglas families have been Hollywood institutions for decades. Liza is the daughter of Judy Garland. Miley is the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus. And Jolie is the daughter of actor Jon Voight. They have never known what it is like to go three or four days without eating.

However, when I do see them on a telethon like Friday night’s fundraiser, I do tip my hat to them. I imagine that every single celebrity from Bruce Springsteen to George Clooney and the rest all donated a healthy sum to the Haitian people. God bless them for doing so. They are in a position to get the word out on this tragedy and then back it up with big checks. Totally admirable actions.

Although this really isn’t a post on morals and the sincerity behind philanthropic endeavors. Nor the legitimacy of the life lessons some of these celebs put forth. It’s just an observation of the wacky world of celebrity wealth.

Later in the weekend, I saw a few episodes of MTV Cribs and saw them showing the huge mansions and car collections of what I consider B-list and C-list celebs. People like the drummer from the band Cake. Or a very successful but virtually unknown BMX champion (unless you follow that genre). Or some young rap star that I’m totally unfamiliar with.

And it makes me think that if these people have that much money, how much does Charlie Watts (Rolling Stones drummer), a Tony Hawk or Jeremy McGrath (huge extreme sports stars), or 50 Cent have?

Celebs like Rob Thomas of Matchbox Twenty or football star Peyton Manning have huge, huge sums of money. How much damn money does Elton John, Madonna, Eric Clapton or Mick Jagger have? And compared to them, how much does Oprah, Steven Spielberg, or Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling have?

After a while, it just blows your mind away thinking about it.

There’s people that don’t even enter your thoughts until you research it a little bit. How many times have you watched a rerun on TV and at the end saw that it was owned/distributed/whatever by the Carsey-Werner partnership? These people have been behind juggernauts like The Cosby Show, Roseanne, That 70’s Show, 3rd Rock From the Sun, and many more. The Werner behind the partnership also owns baseball’s Boston RedSox.

Now we have Simon Cowell climbing the list of astronomical wealth. Rumor has it that Conan O’Brien is getting a good $40 million to step aside from the Tonite Show. How much has David Letterman and Leno accumulated thru the years?

How about baseball stud Alex Rodriguez? In December 2000, he signed a 10 year, $252 million dollar contract with the Texas Rangers. He opted out of the final few years of that contract in October 2009 to ink a fresh deal with the Yankees for 10 years at $275 million dollars. This man is down for about a half-billion dollars to swing a wooden stick at a baseball. If you have a son, put a bat in his hands and start throwing him batting practice.

Or do what Tiger Woods’ dad did. Get him interested in golf at a young age.

Or put a guitar in his hands.

This whole conversation makes me want to see a list with as much accuracy as can be determined on who ranks where in the world of wealth. Is Shaquille O’Neill higher up than Brad Pitt? Is Steven Tyler of Aerosmith higher up than The Who’s Pete Townsend? And how does Eddie Van Halen factor into things?

Then there’s the couples who have combined their wealth (except for pre-marriage agreements) like Jolie and Pitt. Or how about Beyonce and Jay-Z ? Finally, we have the king………Bill Gates. What would you give to be his grandson or nephew?

For me, the answer is ZERO. I’m so happy to be the son of the people that raised me. I doubt Bill Gates had much time to play catch with his boy. Or go to the Sox game three or four times a year. Or show him how to fix a bike tire. Or bring home packs of baseball cards from work. Or go up to the local racetrack for some demolition derby. Or play pool in the humble, little basement for the “family title”. The winner gets to play his music during the next challenge. My dad would try to throw me off by playing the Everly Brothers (which it did) and I would try to distract him with Metallica (which it did).

So what the hell is true wealth ?

See the paragraph above that question.

There ya go. Now that’s freakin’ wealth. Simon Cowell just seems wealthy.