Approaching the wrong side of 40

Dude, I’m tellin’ ya………

In about a week, I’ll be turning 40.

It hadn’t even dawned on me until the last few days. I have much greater things to worry about at this precise moment such as finding work and meeting the April 1 rent. But as I inch closer to that ceremonial mark—that is really the first big milestone since 21—it is finally creeping into my head.

Holy Mother of Mary…..I’m gonna be freakin’ 40 years old !!

It seems like I just registered with the Selective Service at the age of 18. It seems like I just turned 21 even though I’d been frequenting bars since I was about eighteen. It seems like I just turned 30 which was actually no big deal.

But now I’m going to be 40 and I have to start making plans for some kind of grandiose mid-life crisis. I’m not even sure what to do about that. Should I hook up with some 24 year old hottie? Should I buy a fancy sports car as soon as I land my next job?

I already live a lifestyle like Charlie Sheen’s character on 2  1/2 Men. So as far as boozing, gambling, carousing and bumbling around……I already do that. At the moment.

So how am I supposed to handle this “40” thing ?

Well, I have me a little plan.

The last three decades, I’ve looked at my life in ten-year spans. From ages 10-20, those are easy to summarize. The first part of that decade, I was like any other kid. I still followed all the rules of my parents’ house. I went to school every day and I worried about getting good grades and all that. I discovered girls around 12, 13, or 14. All of that stuff. And then from 15-20, I discovered the easier ways to make a little money. I started testing my boundaries and seeing what I could get away with. Skipped school once every couple of weeks. Started partying…..first just a little boozing. Then a little harder and a little harder.

So that was the typical decade of exploration, discovery, and trying new things.

From 20-30, it was pure decadence. My buddies and I thought of ourselves as a little crew, so to speak. We had two dozen ways to make money without actually going to work. I still went to work and began my career as a pencil pusher. But it was that decade where you could go out every night until 2 in the morning and crawl into work the next day and still be productive. Then there was the extra money and the women and the good times that came with it. My first house. The first trips out to Vegas. The being “banned” from local bars for rowdiness, fighting, etc. The bachelor parties and the crazy weddings. Lots of court appearances and chemicals going on. Oh, did I mention the women ?  

At age 30, I made a very conscious decision to stop all of the under-the-table things I had going on and just work my job (before I got myself arrested) and work toward moving up to the next level in my life. Which I did. On my 30th birthday, I abandoned all of the ways I was making money except for my weekly paycheck. I got up, went to work, did my thing, and lived a much cleaner lifestyle….for a while. I reached the precipe of my life thus far by buying a 3 bedroom house with a yard and a basement. And nearly at the same time, I suffered my greatest loss. Which resulted in a downward spiral health-wise.

It took the rest of my 30s to overcome my loss, regain my health, and finish the last 4 years of the decade as a refocused, re-energized, upstanding member of society.

Which is where I find myself as birthday number 40 fast approaches. Yes, I’m out of work at the moment. But it had / has nothing to do with a sordid lifestyle. Or being unreliable. Nothing like that. It’s been all about the economy like 25 million other people. But my future plan is all set in my head.

I’m as healthy as I’ve been since about the age of 17. I’m surrounded by good, decent-valued, admirable people (versus the company I used to keep from about 22-36). I’m driven, focused, and have my sights set on what I want. As soon as I land my next job, I can see my 40s being the most productive, clean living, happy decade of my life.

I’m so totally ready. To travel. To be a good friend. To be someone that can be counted on. To advance my career thru achievement and reliability. To start saving for my old age—-which I never really figured to see in my 20s and 30s. To contribute to the community I live in. To get in better shape and become even healthier. Not just as a resolution per se……but just because I’m no longer poisoning myself and surrounded by like-minded people.

So that’s the sort of mid-life crisis I have planned.

Oh, there still may be a new truck and a closet full of nice suits and some of that. But I am just dead-set…..totally intent……not a doubt in my mind …….ready to make these next ten years the best ones of my life thus far. I am going to kick this decade’s ass !

There’s no granchildren on the cusp. There’s no celebrating twenty years with the same company. There’s no twentieth wedding anniversary around the bend. It’s what I do from next week forward. 

I’m ready. Put me in, Coach.

40 ain’t nuthin’ but a number !!